


Living a Broken Dream [Levi Ackerman - Attack on Titan]

by pandorahurts



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, anime - Fandom
Genre: F/M, aot - Freeform, snk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 07:32:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 31,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4470647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorahurts/pseuds/pandorahurts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the repetitive cycle of her life is broken, Luka Hisami decides to take a risk and join the Survey Corps. Then, when her injury gets in the way of her training, she takes it  upon herself to prove that she can be as good as the rest. That determination is what drew him to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

I raised my chin to look at the sky. It was as if heaven was pouring itself out on to us, such a contradiction to the world below. A smile played on my lips as I saw the world illuminated in golden light. The wind swept through my hair, grasping it as I continued to move forward. My name is Luka. A strange name to be given to someone so ordinary. Once again my eyes roamed the sky. Blue pooled in with purple, delicate rays of sun streaming through the clouds. My whole life has been ordinary, no deviation to its repetitive cycle.

For years, I was held captive by the same routine, wishing for any slight chance of adventure. The same faces passed by me every day and I was left thinking that I was all alone, trapped. How did that simple girl end up here? Salty tears welled up in the corners of my eyes and streamed down my cheeks. As my hair whipped my face I managed to force a sad smile, even if my eyes were filled with guilt. My speed rapidly slowed, and my stomach dropped. It was hopeless. I turned my head to the right, my eyes connecting with dull, grey eyes that were so familiar to me, yet at the same time, so distant. I let out a pathetic whimper. I turned my head to the left. Determination. That was all I could see in his eyes. Turquoise sparks stared back at me, baring an expression I'd never seen before. I smiled, the tears damp on my cheeks. The world was beautiful. Beautiful, yet cruel.

Finally, I raised my arms, allowing my fingertips to brush along the autumn leaves, the bark of the forest pines and the rough branches that somehow seemed gentle. This was it. I was jerked back harshly. A deadly hand clenched around my waist, ripping my wires from my surroundings. I tried the best I could not to let out the scream I was holding back. I stayed limp, aimlessly waiting for what I knew would happen. This was it. It was hopeless anyway, like I even have a fighting chance. I was a hindrance, nothing more, nothing less. My world seemed to slow down and my hearing became muffled. In the corner of my eyes I could see them, eyes wide, shouting fiercely. I smiled calmly, trying to mask my guilt, tears continued to stream down my face. I had lived a good life, one that I wasn't worthy of. I had made friends who were willing to risk their lives for me. Now, there was no escape. I took one last look at those, clear eyes, that I'd always been able to read so easily.

"Goodbye Levi, thank you."


	2. Chapter 1

Year 840

I let out a sigh. Another day, exactly the same as the last. I'd been out collecting firewood for the last two hours. I let my feet drag lamely beneath me, the same routine day in day out. I go by the name of Luka, though I don't hear it spoken much as I currently live on my own. I lost my parents at a young age, therefore I can't really remember much about them. They lost their lives aiding humanity's victory in the Survey Corps. I'll never be able to live up to their reputation. I am weak. 

After my parents death I was sent to live with my uncle from my fathers side. He treated me as if I were his daughter, since I was the only family he had left. The two of us lived peacefully in his small cottage, we didn't have much, but it didn't matter. Everything was fine, I was happy and lived with a purpose. Then five years ago, money became scarce. Uncle re-joined the military and I was left alone. Uncle sends me money each month so that I can keep on living. But is this really living? Or is it just surviving? The same cycle continues to haunt me, and all I can do is act like a scared little girl. 

Letting the beads of sweat trickle down my forehead, I opened the door to the cottage and dropped the firewood on the floor. I gazed around the empty space, my eyes glistening. I don't like being alone, I just want someone, anyone to be here with me. I was suddenly snapped out of my thoughts by a loud shout, "They're back, the Survey Corps are back!" I gasped, startled, and took off out of the room. I let out a grunt as a sharp pain shot up my leg, reminding me not to run. Due to an accident when I was younger, I now have a permanent limp. It makes it difficult for me to walk, let alone run. I let out a sigh of discomfort, thinking back to that day.

Year 828

I ran through the woods as fast as I could. Branches whipped me, leaving cuts and scrapes on my face. "Stop running!" I heard a boy taunt. These were my usual bullies, slightly older than me they would pick on me daily, and I'd finally had enough. I stood up to them for the first time, hence my dilemma. I was now running for my life. I tripped and stumbled, cutting my knee on a jagged rock. I tried my best to not cry out and give away my location. "We know you're out here." Another mocked. I immediately stood up and continued running, being careful not to fall again. Just when I thought I was free, safe from those monsters, something happened.

All I can remember was the harsh sound of metal clanking beneath my foot and the intense pain that shook my whole body. An animal trap. I hadn't been paying attention to the ground and had caught my foot in it. Crimson liquid pulsed out of my ankle as I let out an agonizing scream. It was excruciatingly painful and had left me scarred for life.

Year 840 Present

I shuddered at the memory. Some things are never forgotten completely. I continued to limp down the busy streets of Shiganshina, awaiting the arrival of the famed Survey Corps. I glanced around at the crowd that had gathered. I knew all of their faces well but I didn't actually know them. I frowned. Is this really how I was going to live the rest of my life? I looked up to the sound of hooves on the cobble-stoned ground. I let out a soft gasp, many men and women were injured, some missing limbs or baring deep flesh wounds. I wanted to look away, but couldn't allow myself to. Their numbers had been halved from the time they'd left. I couldn't hold it back anymore, I let the tears stream down my face.

Each member wore the same stony expression, trying to mask their guilt and pain. Yet it made them look so apathetic. Holding back a sob, I walked closer to the soldiers on horseback, smiling bravely at each one. Then I started to quietly mouth the words 'thank you' over and over again. It was people like this, people like my parents, who hadn't given up hope. They continued to fight for survival, no matter how impossible it seemed.

Just as I was about to turn away, about to walk home depressed and deflated, I noticed something, or rather someone. Riding up towards me was a man, a little older than me but with a young looking face. He had jet black, raven hair, neatly swept, yet somehow messy at the same time. His skin was lighter than mine though he had dark circles under his eyes, no doubt from over exertion.Though his eyes are what struck me the most. At first glance, they were seemingly a 'dull grey' colour, but if you look closer, close enough to-

"Tch, Hey brat, quit staring."

I was taken aback. I looked around at the people near me. Surely he couldn't have been talking to me could he? "Wipe that stupid look off your face. I was talking to you." He said coldly as he stopped his horse. Instantly, my cheeks flushed a bright pink as I heard people around me laughing. Without warning, I picked up the ends of your dress and moved as fast as my legs would carry me, back home. At least, that's what I planned. I ran three steps before my leg gave in from under me and I landed flat on my face. Everyone continued to laugh.

Suddenly, tears sprang to my eyes and I began to sob, out of pain and humiliation. "Tch, give me your hand." Said a monotone voice. I was harshly pulled to my feet by surprisingly gentle hands. I looked up slowly, still embarrassed. "What's wrong with your leg?" He asked, emotionless. I felt anger start to bubble up inside of me. How dare he? First he embarrasses me, then he insults me? I quickly stormed off, snatching my arm away from him. "Hey wait, you brat!" I hear him shout in the distance. I let out a frustrated huff. Jerk.


	3. Chapter 2

Year 845  
"Tch, give me your hand." I was suddenly swept up my feet by muscular arms and planted on the ground. I remained silent. I scanned over his face; pale skin, proportioned features and his eyes, his eyes were like a cloudy day waiting for a ray of sun. He walked closer to me, his shoulders slumped, yet the rest of his posture ridged. I felt my heart beat quicken, my palms started to sweat and shake. Closer. Closer. I took a sharp intake of breath, feeling my legs give beneath me. His face moved closer to mine. Close enough that I could feel his breath on my skin. Close enough to-  
I suddenly bolted upright in my bed, startled by the sound of children playing outside. I was drenched in cold sweat. Why did I have that dream? I crawled out of my bed quickly and stood in front of the mirror. My cheeks were dark crimson and my eyes were wide and alert. I raised my hands to my cheeks trying to cool them down and overcome my embarrassment. I glanced at my reflection. I was definitely nothing special. My hair was too long, a dark chestnut colour which was slightly wavy. My shoulders and hips were broader than average for someone my height. I was quite short, 5'2, my skin was tanned and my eyes were green. I liked my eyes. They were a dark emerald colour accompanied by specks of golden brown. I frowned. Even so, I was still ordinary.  
I snapped myself out of my thoughts, why did I have such a detailed dream about a man I'd met five years ago. The man who humiliated me... Even so, he did help me up afterwards, but he also had a bad attitude and- I stopped my emotions from running wild. I decided it was best to forget the dream all together. I carried on with my days work. I washed my face, got dressed and was ready to head out of the door to pick something up from the bakery.  
Uncle had sent me more money than usual this month, so I wanted to try something new. I picked up the material bag slouched over one of the wooden chairs. I'd sewn it myself, all of my free time meant that I could hone certain skills such as this. I smiled slightly, flattening my dress and heading outside.  
The sky seemed a pale grey colour, clouds obstructed the sun and it looked as if it was going to rain. Hurrying slightly, I continued to make my way down the streets, avoiding any contact with the other villagers.  
I sluggishly walked, past various shops, coming towards a quiet area. I stopped. "What are you trying to say kid?" A rough voice yelled, like nails on a chalkboard. "You know it's the truth and by using your fists you're just proving I'm right." Another voice whispered. They sounded like children, I knew I had to do something. Picking up my long dress I let out a nervous breath and stepped forward.  
My eyes widened with fear. Two new figures came charging towards the others, one girl, who's face held a familiar cold expression with deadly eyes, and a boy, who's eyes shone brightly with determination and anger. I couldn't help but freeze in my place. Even though they were children, they were braver than any adult I'd seen before. A lot braver than me.  
Within seconds the bully's had scampered off, bruised and bloody. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I approached the three children. The girl had pure black hair which accompanied her onyx eyes. The boy had messy tawny hair and had a cut on his face. Lastly, the other boy, the one who was being bullied, had long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. He also had a graze. "Excuse me," I interrupted their conversation. "-are you alright?" All three of them looked up at me, surprised expressions on their faces. "I saw what happened." I continued. "I was going to help but I thought you had it covered." The two boys smiled at me whilst the girl only glared. "We're fine thank you, it was nothing really." The brunette boy grinned widely. I smiled back at them all, glad that they were okay. I only wished that I could be as brave as them. To be able to help my friends no matter what. Not that I ever had any.  
I coughed, breaking the silence. I noticed that they had small cuts and scrapes on their faces, excluding the girl, who didn't have a single scratch. "Oh!" I exclaimed quickly, remembering something. I clambered around in my bag, pulling out a long roll of band aids. "Here." I handed each of the boys one. "As an apology for not intervening." They took them cautiously before thanking me. Suddenly, the sound of the clock in the center of town rang through the streets, reminding me of the errand I was meant to run. "Great, I've missed the bakery." I huffed, my arms drooping at my sides. I decided to just return home and cook something myself. "Sorry miss." The blonde chirped. I waved him off, before picking up my bag and starting the journey back home.  
Today was busy. It had been a while since I'd made contact with another person, yet alone had a proper conversation. It was bliss. I had a grin plastered on my face, despite the fact that I'd missed the bakery, and my eyes were lit up like the sun.  
Suddenly steam began to pour up into the sky, masking all light. The golden quakes of lightening shook the Earth and filled the streets with screams of terror. The crack and rumble of thunder broke the peaceful silence and caused destruction everywhere. Before I knew what was happening, large pieces of rubble started to fly through the sky and collide with the ground below. I cautiously looked up, my body quivering and drops of sweat pooling down my face. A titan.   
This couldn't be happening. I was frozen in my spot like a deer being hunted. The wall was over fifty meters tall, it's impossible for a titan to look over it. Without warning the titan kicked his colossal foot into the wall, shattering it with one blow. People gave out anguished cries as many got crushed by the stones of the wall. The ground shook heavily. I was frozen in fear, like a true coward. Around me people ran for their lives, abandoning loved ones, fearful for their own safety. To my left, my eyes connected with the three children from earlier. The blonde boy stood, paralyzed all over. Just as I did. The brunette and the girl however, began running away, shouting for their mother.   
I could feel warm tears stream down my face out of pure terror. Next to me I saw an old man, probably in his fifties or sixties running over to the blonde boy, scooping him up in his arms. I let out a choked sob, wishing I had someone to do that for me. Finally, I was able to drag myself out of my trance like state. I picked up the bottom of my dress and limply ran towards the emergency exit were everyone else was headed. I refused to look back, no matter how many cries or sobs I heard. I truly was a coward. My ankle started to burn painfully and I had to bite my lip to keep me from crying out.   
My weight suddenly gave in from under me, making me fall to the floor, hitting my knees on the hard cobblestones below. I let out a shriek, grasping my ankle and trying to crawl forward. People nearby tripped over me, fumbling in the confusion. I stopped crawling, my knees and hands bloody and salty tears welled up in my eyes. I slowly pulled my knees to my chest and hugged them, trying to control the sobs racking my body. Then, I heard something walking up towards me. I stared. A titan, about ten meters tall, its face baring a sadistic grin. Its whole body was in proportioned, with a head double the width of its shoulders the very sight of it sent shivers up my spine.  
My breath hitched. I was going to die.


	4. Chapter 3

My breath hitched. I was going to die.  
My eyes suddenly caught sight of something. A flash, like a bolt of lightning circling the titan. I couldn't make out what it was, it was moving too fast. Despite my terror, I could feel myself being drawn in by it, like it gave off a protective aura. Without warning, it suddenly stopped, perched on the back of the titans neck. Before my eyes could adjust, the titan landed next to me, making the ground quake and break from under it. My eyes widened in shock. A deep incision had been made, leading to the nape of the titans neck being completely removed. My muscles became ridged and I refused to move, I just watched as the titans blood began to evaporate into the air.  
"Tch, how stupid can you get? You almost got yourself killed." I felt my heart skip a beat. Raven hair, dull grey eyes that were somehow transparent and deadly pale skin. It was him. The man from years ago. The one who had embarrassed me, humiliated me, and now saved me. No words were able to leave my mouth, I continued to sit there, staring like a child. "If you don't move now you'll be eaten by a titan." He said in a monotone voice. "Your choice." I instantly stood up, ignoring the pain from my ankle. He grabbed my wrist tightly, leading me to his horse a few meters away. His skin was soft, even if his personality wasn't.   
Year 846  
I groaned, turning over to my side. My back hurt from lying on the hard stone flooring. I squinted, my eyes adjusting to the light streaming in through the windows. I was currently staying in an old church along with the other refugees from wall Maria. Thousands of people died that day, I was lucky to have even survived. But, if it was down to me I wouldn't have survived. I owe it all to that member of the military that saved me. If it wasn't for him, I'd definitely by dead, as I've said before, I'm weak.  
"Eren, Eren." I heard a voice whisper. The voice seemed slightly familiar, I racked my brain for a possible explanation. I scouted the room quickly, before my eyes landed on two children. The children from that day. My eyes widened as I stared at the brunette boy,Eren, and the Asian girl. There was no mistaking it. My eyes continued to dart around the room in search of the blonde boy. I sighed, I guess he was dead. "Are you alright Eren?" The young girl asked protectively. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but her voice echoed loudly on the walls of the building, making it impossible to drown out. The young boy groaned and sat up right, facing the girl. "I'm fine Mikasa." He replied.   
I was now outside. The air seemed somehow purer than in Shiganshina. Middle class people roamed the streets tutting at us refugees. It wasn't fair. We didn't ask to be attacked by titans, for our families to die or our homes to be demolished. I frowned, looking up at the queue for food. The line continued as far as the eye could see. I guess I wan't getting any today. I turned around to head back inside the church. I stopped. A familiar mop of long, blonde hair caught my eye. Huddled together, talking, were the three children, all alive and well. I let out a sigh of relief, contemplating going over there. Suddenly, I heard the sound of soldiers talking among themselves.   
"Look at all of these people, taking up room and eating our food." One started, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "It's a real shame." The other piped up. "The titans should have eaten a lot more of them so there'd be less to feed." I felt anger boil up inside of me as I watched the two men laugh, holding their stomachs. It was disgusting, so-called prestigious soldiers mocking the death of civilians and-   
The brunette boy kicked him hard in the shin. The soldier let out a groan whilst the boy stood un-wavered, his teeth clenched and eyebrows furrowed. "How dare you, you little brat!" The man cried.  
"You don't know what it's like." The young boy shouted clenching his fists. "You haven't seen the way the titans eat people!" The man raged and instantly raised his hand. Picking up the material of my dress, I darted to the scene, limping and stumbling. I knew I couldn't reason with the man, so I did the only thing I could do.   
My cheek glowed red accompanied by the outline of a white hand-print. I sniffled back tears of shock as the crowd grew dead silent and stared at the scene. "Uh-" The man stuttered slightly shocked. "That's was for disrespecting me." He covered up, quickly composing himself. I nodded obediently before taking Eren's hand and gently guiding him away, fearful of him retaliating.   
When we were safely out of harms way I let out a deep sigh of relief, clutching my throbbing face.The three children stared at me with wide eyes, even Mikasa, who gave me a slight approving nod. I smiled at them all before ruffling Eren's hair. He stuttered, still looking angry. I wanted to stay and try my best to calm him down but I thought It'd be best if I just left him alone for a while. Without saying a word, I smiled and shuffled away out of their view. That was close.  
When I was nearing closer to the church I started to hear something. A repetitive sound that seemed to gradually get louder. Footsteps. It wasn't unusual to hear footsteps in a place as crowded as this, but it was something about these, the way they echoed in my mind and made my breath catch in my throat. It was him. Despite all that had happened, I felt a wave of happiness overcome me. Then I started to panic. What was I to say to him, he saved my life; what could I do to repay him? The footsteps came to a halt. My eyes connected to his.   
His apathetic glance seemed to soften for a short while, before he quickly regained his composure. He looked the same as he did when I saw him last, and the time before that. He hasn't seemed to age at all. His hair still remained the blackest of shades, framing his face slightly on either side. His skin seemed a little darker than usual, like he'd been outside in the sun for long periods of time. His eyes were the same as always. Indescribable. I continued to stare in silence, thinking of the last time we met.  
Year 845  
The constant sound of hooves clicking on cobble-stone flooring put me into a trance like state. I was traumatized. My eyes remained wide with fear and sweat trickled down my face. My hands were wrapped around the waist of the soldier, whose identity remained unknown. With my fists tightly clenched, I grasped the material of his shirt into my palms. My grip held so tight that I could hear him struggle for breath as it felt like our rib cages were merging with one another. I was half expecting him to tell me to let go, to yell at me or say 'Tch, brat'. But he didn't. He remained silent the entire journey, his eyes lacking a single ounce of remorse.   
I, on the other hand, had tears streaming down my face like a waterfall and was sniffling into the back of the mans shirt. Rubble and debris plagued the ground, along with littered corpses. Screams of terror and agony still ruptured the silence and all I could do was hide my face in the back of a stranger. He smelt of soap and cinnamon, such a contradiction to the smell of metallic iron wafting into my nose from the blood of the dead. "Hey." He said, in a surprisingly gentle tone. I didn't reply. My muscles were stiff and I was aching all over. He sighed before dismounting his horse and reaching up towards me. He placed his arm over my lower back to support me, and used his other arm to loop underneath me legs. Before I knew it, I was being carried to a boat full of terrified people.  
I allowed my head to hang back unsupported, staring at the clouds which seemed stagnant. I turned slightly, making eye contact with the man. He felt warm even though his eyes were cold. I let my own eye lids droop as I rested my head against his chest.  
Suddenly, it was like the warmth was ripped from me as I was handed to someone else, as if I were some sort of possession. "Make sure she makes it to Rose." I heard him say sternly. With little energy left in my body, and blood streaming out of my hands and knees, I took one last look at the man who saved me. Then I lost consciousness.  
Year 846 Present  
I continued to stare, my mouth agape and my palms sweating. "I-" I started, but was immediately cut off.  
"What's wrong with your face?" Unbelievable. He insults me again. I whip around fiercely, but his hand catches my wrist. "Hey brat who did this to you?" He pointed, gesturing my red cheek. I blushed, realizing that he wasn't insulting my looks. I mentally scolded myself.  
"It was no one, don't worry." I whispered, trying to release my arm from his grasp.  
"Then you did this to yourself?" He pried, his voice raising slightly. I timidly shook my head. I allowed my gaze to travel towards the two men, still laughing at the refugees, smiles plastered on their faces.   
"You really are hopeless." He muttered, before stalking off into the direction of the soldiers. I stood firmly, wondering what just happened. Even after what he'd just said to me, and the looks he gave me, I liked him. Maybe I could consider him a friend? My first friend. I smiled widely, watching the short man intimidate the two other men. I was in awe of his power, his presence, the way he was able to kill that titan back then. I decided. I didn't want to be weak anymore. I want to be strong like him, like my parents.  
I want to be a soldier.


	5. Chapter 4

I want to be a solider.  
Year 847  
"What's your name?" Keith Shadis, the 104th trainee squad instructor, bellowed at the blonde boy.  
"I'm Armin Arlert, sir!" The boy replied, sweat forming on his forehead and his hands fiddling with his shirt.  
"Armin? That's a stupid name, who gave you that?" Shadis mocked, intimidating the small boy.  
"My grandfather!" Armin shouted, trying to appear confidence. Shadis smirked, before insulting him some more.  
"Fourth row, about face!" He yelled finally.  
Keith Shadis was an intimidating man. His stern face seemed to always be frowning which led to heavy lines spreading across his forehead. The fact that he was bald seemed to age him a lot and the bags under his eyes gave him a menacing look. I shuddered, pleading to God that he wouldn't pick on me next. "You!" He screeched, glaring in my general direction. I gulped and looked around. "Stop, making that face I'm talking to you." My breath hitched as I was reminded of something.  
"Wipe that stupid look off your face. I was talking to you."  
My skin turned pale as I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Yes, sir!" I shouted, thumping my hand over my chest to salute.  
"And your name is?" I froze, my mind going blank.  
"Luka Hisami, sir!" I replied confidently to mask my fear. His eyes seemed to widen for a split second and he stayed silent.  
"Hisami, huh?" He questioned in a calm tone. I gulped, my stomach dropping a little.  
"Yes sir." I answered, a little quieter than before.  
"Let's just hope that you live up to your parents reputation." He muttered with a blank face.   
The first day continued to be slow, I stood out a lot since I was the eldest trainee. Though for the majority of the day I stayed on the side lines, silently evaluating my competition. If I want to become a soldier, I need to be as good as them.  
Recently a small crowd of trainees had gathered around a nearby window. Letting my curiosity get the best of me, I headed over to the commotion to get a look. I huffed, childishly puffing out my cheeks. I was too short to see anything. In front of me were two tall boys, one with blonde hair and the other with brown. Reiner and Bertholdt. Squatting down a little, I managed to peek through a gap between the trainees. Sasha Blouse, or otherwise known as 'Potato Girl' was running laps. Sweat pooled down her body and her eyelids drooped every so often. She looked exhausted. I sighed, Shadis was really harsh on her.  
After dinner I started to make my way to the dorms, I needed to get a good night sleep for training tomorrow. I put my plate onto the tray and headed straight to the door. "Excuse me, your hair is really pretty." I instantly turned around, ready to thank the person who complimented me. I liked my hair, even though it was a common colour it was extremely long, flowing past my waist. I sighed, it would probably get in the way of training.When I turned around I noticed a boy was in front of me. He had brown hair with streaks of blonde in it. "Thanks-" I was cut off by a girl with jet black hair. Mikasa.  
"Thank you." She spoke before walking away. A blush furiously spread across my face as I realized that the boy wasn't talking to me. How stupid. It didn't even occur to me that this boy was much younger than me, why on earth would he compliment me? Completely embarrassed, I limped out of the hall, letting my hair flow behind me.  
When I reached my dorm room I swung the door open so fast that it nearly came off its hinges. Slamming it behind me I trudged around the room, occupying the only bed that was free. I didn't know who I was sharing the room with, but I just hoped that no one snored.  
Sighing, I took off my shoes and placed them on the floor. Tomorrow we'd all be getting our uniforms. I decided to try and get to sleep before the other girls came in, therefore I wouldn't have to interact with any of them. I laid down on my bed letting my hair sprawl out beneath me. Tomorrow would be a long day.  
Next Day  
I decided to get up before anyone was awake, meaning that I could get ready first and start my training. Fastening the final buckles of my straps, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My body wasn't meant for being a soldier. With wide hips and broad shoulders, I might as well have a sign on my head saying 'I'm easy to topple over'. I huffed, putting on my beige jacket with the trainee corps emblem on the back. Shuffling out of the room, I decided to skip breakfast to get an early start on training. God knows I need it.  
"Trainees," Shadis, our instructor, started. "-today you shall all be learning how to stay upright on your gear. Three dimensional maneuver gear requires impeccable balance and muscle control. If you can't manage to do something as simple as this-" He paused, making direct eye contact with me. "Then the military has no use for you." I swallowed the lump in my throat, determined to prove him wrong.  
One by one, he started strapping up trainees, lifting them into the air and watching them fail miserably. I still hadn't had a go yet. I watched Mikasa Ackerman in awe. She didn't once sway or lose her balance, she stayed perfectly still. I gulped. I would never be that good. Eren Jaeger, on the other hand, was upside down. His chestnut hair hovered over the ground and his face was red from embarrassment. "Jaeger!" Shadis yelled. "Get the hell up."  
This was it, I was next. "Luka Hisami." I heard my name being shouted.  
"Yes, sir." I replied, shuffling over to the menacing looking contraption.  
"What's wrong with your leg?" Shadis asked, eyeing me suspiciously.  
"Oh, it's nothing!" I assured quickly. He gave me one last glance before continuing. Slowly, he buckled multiple wires to my belts and made sure they were tight and secure. I could barely breath. Shadis then made his way to the handle, ready to crank me up. I took a deep breath.  
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted two men watching me. I gasped. I recognized them. The first one, the man who'd saved me, stared right into my eyes, watching my every move. The other one however, stood with his arms crossed, as if he expected me to entertain him. I looked away. I needed to concentrate.  
"Okay cadet, are you ready?" I clenched my fists.  
"Yes!" Slowly, I was hoisted up into the air, a few feet off the ground. My body wobbled and I instantly spread my arms out to the side like a bird. My heart was pounding in my chest as I secretly hoped that I could impress my audience. My balance became more steady over time and I stopped wavering as much. A wide smile spread across my face. "Not bad Hisami." Shadis remarked. "I'm going to lower you down." I nodded, hearing the clanking of metal from behind me.  
Suddenly a jolt shook my body and I stopped being lowered to the ground. I felt something tugging at my scalp painfully which stopped me from being able to turn my head. "Sir?" I questioned, worried as to what happened? People started to stare at me and even the two men had started walking in my direction. Shadis continued to fumble with the lever trying to lower me. I gasped a little, feeling the pain from my scalp grow more intense. Then I realized. My stupid hair had gotten caught in the pulley.  
"Ow, ow!" I whispered as multiple people tried to untangle my hair from the contraption. It was no use. It was too long and wrapped tightly around the metal, no one could get it loose.  
"Cadet, expect to be punished for this!" Shadis yelled, bubbling with anger. "You're wasting mine, and everyone else's time!" I nodded a reply painfully. Finally a voice spoke up.  
"Hey brat, I'm going to have to cut it." I gasped. I knew that voice. Looking over, my eyes landed on the short man with jet black hair. He carelessly swung a pair of scissors around his fingers with a dull expression on his face.  
"No!" I shouted. I couldn't cut it, the only thing I liked about myself was my hair, and here someone was, threatening me with scissors. He sighed tiredly, walking up to me at a steady pace. A small crowd had gathered by now, all muttering and whispering to each other. The words 'Levi' and 'Humanities strongest soldier' were repeated multiple times. I gulped, knowing deep down that this was the only solution. I wanted to get this over and done with, not only was I embarrassed, but I was mad at myself for causing a scene over such a trivial thing. If only I'd cut it in the first place.  
"Now, stay still." I heard a gentle voice whisper by my ear. My eyes connected to the man's, Levi, I heard his name was. I nodded slightly before looking at the ground.  
Snip.  
A long brunette lock fell to the ground, followed by another, then another. Finally I felt the pain disappear and I was free to be lowered to the ground. I grimaced at the pile of hair on the floor before making a decision. "Levi." I addressed the man. His eyes seemed to widen a little. " Please could you cut the rest of it." The man didn't say anything for a while, he just stared at me.  
"This isn't a barbers." He stated bluntly. I blushed, I had just asked a soldier of high ranking to cut my hair. I truly was stupid. "I'm sorry I-" I was cut off by the sound of footsteps, only to see him walking away.  
Shortly after, everyone else left too, it was getting late and all of the commotion meant that not much training had been done today. I felt so embarrassed. The sun started to go down whilst I was still left sitting on the ground, my hair all different lengths, and my face flushed from embarrassment.   
I decided to just go back to the dorms, hopefully I could make a good impression tomorrow and my up for my incompetence today. "Hey, where do you think you're going looking like that?" A monotone voice startled me out of my thoughts. I didn't turn around, I already knew who it was. "Hey, are you listening to me?" I was suddenly stopped in my tracks and made to sit on the floor.  
"Ow, what was that for?" I yelled, slightly annoyed. I looked up to face Levi. In his hands he was twirling around a silver pair of scissors, no regard for safety whatsoever. "Tch, just stay still." Slowly he began to snip at my hair messily, trying to even out both sides. I smiled at his gestures, not bothered by how it looked.   
When he was finished he tilted my chin up slightly, evaluating my hair. He remained silent, but nodded at me with a blank expression. I did the same. Before he could turn away to leave I grasped his wrist, gently placing the scissors in his palm with a smile on my face.  
"Thank you Levi."


	6. Chapter 5

"Thank you Levi, Goodbye."  
Year 847  
When I arrived back at the dorm I was surprised to see everyone still awake. Their eyes were drooping and it was quite obvious that they were all exhausted. I quietly shut the door behind me, trying to mask my presence. "She's back, everyone she's back!" A brunette girl shouted, Sasha Blouse I think. I looked away quickly, trying to avoid everyone's gazes.  
"Why are you all still up?" I asked quietly, finally making eye contact. A girl suddenly jumped down from her bunk, she had familiar raven hair and a blank face. Mikasa. She walked up to me slowly, she seemed comforting yet intimidating at the same time.  
When she was directly in front of me she smiled, placing a hand on my shoulder. "We were wondering if you wanted some help with your hair." She stated, playing with the end of my now, shoulder length hair. "But it seems that you already have it covered".  
I limped over to my bunk, shrugging off my jacket and prying my boots from my feet. My body was sore all over. "Hey Luka?" A head of brunette hair swung down from the top bunk and stared at me upside down. I took a sharp intake of breath, startled by the girl's sudden appearance. It was Sasha. She had long copper hair, slightly longer than mine, that was tied in a ponytail. If only I'd tied my hair up then I wouldn't have to had cut it. I sighed, making eye contact with the energetic teen.  
"Who cut your hair?" She started, a smile on her face. "You obviously couldn't have done it yourself." She pressed on, twiddling the ends of my hair between her fingers. My face turned red thinking back to it. Surely Humanity's Strongest Soldier had better things to do than cut a trainee's hair. Not that I wasn't grateful.   
I sprawled out across my bed, shrugging off Sasha's comment, hoping she'd let it go. "Why won't you tell me?" She wined loudly, causing the others to laugh. "Maybe it was a boy?" A short blonde girl piped up. She had piercing blue eyes and looked as if she belonged in Sina.  
"Was it Eren?" Mikasa pried instantly, her protective nature already showing. I felt uncomfortable suddenly being probed by multiple questions. I couldn't exactly tell them that Corporal Levi, Humanity's Strongest Soldier, had cut my hair just because I was too stupid to tie it up. I shrugged again, pulling the scratchy blankets over my face, staying completely still.  
"Hey-" I heard a girl start, only to be cut off by the sound of our door slamming open. It was Shadis. It hadn't even crossed my mind that it was past lights out. His stern eyes landed directly on me as he yelled at us all to go to sleep, threatening us with more chores.  
Finally, when he left, I decided to go straight to sleep. I'd completely missed breakfast and dinner today so I didn't want to be late tomorrow too. I turned to my side, playing with my hair slightly. I had to be good in training tomorrow, or there's a chance that I might be sent home. I wasn't going to let that happen. Though I may have a lot of trouble with the physical aspect of training, the running and the combat. Using 3D maneuver gear should be simple enough, but because of my limp, I'm going to have to work a lot harder than the others. I want to be as good as him.  
Next Day  
Today we'd all be watching Eren Jaeger again. This was his last chance to pass the 3D maneuver test before he's sent home. Everyone's on edge, especially Mikasa. Her fists are clenched tightly, along with her teeth. If he were sent home, there's no doubt that she would go with him, along with that Arlert boy. I smiled lightly. They're just the same as when they were kids.  
"Eren Jaeger." A voice boomed, grasping everyone's attention. "This is your last chance, don't disappoint me." Shadis yelled.  
"Yes, sir!" Everyone stood nervously, waiting for him to be cranked up. My breath hitched as his feet slowly left the ground. He's doing it. His body wavered slightly but his overall balance was fine. His turquoise eyes met mine for a second before he flipped forward and plummeted to the ground. A few people started to mumble and I brought my hand to my forehead. He was so close. "Wait!" He yelled, startling everyone. "I can still do it! Let me do it!" He pleaded, determination in his eyes. I laughed slightly. He sure was something.  
"Wagner." Shadis stated. "Switch belts with Jaeger." Doing as he was instructed, Thomas made his way up to Eren, taking off his belt and handing it to him. People began to whisper, not sure what was going on.  
Once again Shadis made his way to the lever, lifting Jaeger off the ground. I gasped. He was perfect. His balance was nearly completely still, and he didn't once look like he was going to fall. He did it. Everyone remained still, stunned at the brunette boy's accomplishment. "Your belt was faulty." Shadis stated bluntly, trying to hide his slight smile.  
"So he managed to stay upright even with faulty gear?" The boy next to me questioned in awe. Shadis nodded, making eye contact with the teen who had a grin spread across his face. I smiled at him. I guess I couldn't really call him a child anymore.  
Later on in the day, the thing I dreaded the most happened. "Trainee's, run laps." My breath hitched. "And don't stop until I say!" Immediately the people around me started running steadily around the track, trying to keep pace with each other. I looked down at my shaking leg, knowing that I would regret this.  
I slowly started to jog, wincing at the shooting pain racking my body. I had to keep up with the rest. I ran with my leg at an awkward angle, trying to keep a straight face so that no one could see my pain. As I continued jogging, I noticed Mikasa staring at me. I looked down, she was smart and I couldn't keep it from her. "Hisami, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Shadis growled at me. "My mother could run faster than you!" Hearing the people laugh around me, my face lit up and I gritted my teeth as the pain became more intense.  
I could do this. I have to do this. Suddenly, a snap shot up my leg, as if my muscles were closing in on themselves. I finally let out a grunt of frustration as I lost my footing and fell on the ground.  
"Luka!" I heard Mikasa yell as she ran over to me. I continued to clutch my ankle, tears welling up in the corner of my eyes.  
"Hisami." Shadis yelled. "Get up!" I pushed my knuckles into the dirt, trying to force myself upright. It was no use, I thumped back onto the floor, searing pain rushing through me. Shadis made his way over to me, his face scrunched and his footing heavy. He forcefully grabbed my wrist, pulling my upwards. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He screamed in my face, his hand beggining to leave a mark on my arm. "I-" I mumbled, searching for my words. "You've got a lot of explaining to do."  
After I'd finished pouring my heart out to Shadis with a blank face and monotone voice, he finally gave me the verdict. "Firstly, you are an idiot." He threw the first insult. "Why on Earth would you sign up for the military with an injury like that?" The truth is, I didn't exactly know either. "I'll give you two choices." He said, surprisingly calm. "And I'm only doing this because I knew your parents." My face lit up as a smile made its way to my cheeks.  
"What branch of the military do you want to go into?" My heart beat faster. Without a seconds thought the words 'Survery Corps' instantly left my mouth. He stayed silent for a while. "I see. Your first choice is, you will be discharged on the account of reoccurring injury." My heart dropped. I was going to be sent home. "Or secondly, you will talk to Erwin, the commander of the Survey Corps, then he may do whatever he pleases with you."  
I suddenly felt weight being lifted off my shoulders. It was all down to Erwin now, I had one more chance, even if it wasn't for definite. "Yes, sir!" I saluted gratefully. "Please may I talk to Erwin?" He chuckled slightly, his eyes kind. "You're just like your parents."  
Before Shadis left he told me that I could meet with Erwin in an hour, after dinner was served to the rest of the trainee's. I nodded, making my way over to the hall.  
I just hope that Erwin lets me stay.


	7. Chapter 6

'I just hope that Erwin lets me stay.'  
Year 857  
I made my way over to the hall shakily. My leg still hadn't recovered, it kept twitching and wobbling. The hall wasn't familiar to me either since I'd only been in it once.  
It was a bare building, equip only with basic necessities such as tables and chairs. When I walked in the noise seemed to die down and I was met with the gazes of numerous people. Ignoring everyone, I picked up a tray of food and sat on a table of my own at the back. I ate the bland food silently, my stomach already churning with nerves.  
What if Erwin says no? I'll have to go back to the same boring life, I'll have to repeat the same cycle daily with no hope of adventure. The thought of it made my skin crawl.  
Unexpectedly, I began to hear footsteps getting closer to me accompanied by voices. I looked up quickly. Armin Arlert, Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman. I tried to force back my smile. It's not that I disliked them, it's just that the military is for training, not for making friends. "Can we sit here?" The blonde boy asked, gesturing the empty seats. I shrugged a response, trying to seem neutral. All three of them pulled out a seat and set their trays down next to me. I sighed. I guess some things are just unavoidable.   
"About earlier-" Mikasa started before Armin nudged her. "I'm fine." I snapped, harsher than intended. "Sorry." I muttered, debating whether or not to tell them about my situation. "I have to talk to the Commander of the Survey Corps about my injury." I said blankly.  
"You're joining the Survey Corps?" Eren questioned enthusiastically. My head suddenly snapped up, those were the most amount of words he'd ever spoke to me. I thought that he hated me. I nodded a response, making eye contact with him. He shriveled back into his seat, seeming somehow intimidated. I sighed, I guess he really does hate me.  
When the four of us finished eating, I was about to go and find Shadis so he could take me to the Commander. "Armin, Mikasa-" Eren stated, breaking the silence. "Please go on without me, I want to talk to Luka for a moment." I felt my palms start to sweat. What could he possibly want to talk to me about? "Listen, I-" I started, trying to shift blame for whatever he was accusing me of. He put his hand over my mouth, startling me and getting me to stop instantly. "When it comes to apologizing I'm not the best, so please bare with me."  
Apologizing? I stared at him blankly, waiting for him to continue. "That time, when I kicked that soldier, I should have been the one who was hit, not you." He confessed, his cheeks dusted pink and his fists clenched. I sighed. That is what this was about.  
"Eren I-" He cut me off again by placing his finger in the air, gesturing me to stop.  
"I was so angry at the time that you dragged me away, I didn't even think about you." He growled, angry at himself. "I was so selfish and embarrassed that I've just been avoiding you." He admitted, relieving a huge weight from my shoulders. "I'm sorry."  
I smiled at him from across the table. Then, without saying a word I got up and walked around from my side. "Wait, Luka, please wait-" He fumbled, trying to make me stay.  
"I'm not going anywhere, stupid." I laughed, making him stand up from his seat. Then, I did something I knew I'd come to regret. He was notably taller than me, and his shoulders were broad and still. Without warning, I wrapped my arms around his chest comfortingly. "It's okay Eren, I forgive you." He seemed surprised at first but then hugged me back, his arms engulfing my figure. Then, standing on my tip-toes, I ruffled his hair and laughed. I've never had any siblings, but I undoubtedly thought of Eren as my brother.  
"Hisami!" A voiced echoed across the room. Shadis. I discreetly shot him a death glare, annoyed that he ruined an emotional moment. "You're late." He shouted, gesturing to the door. "Hurry up." I nodded, stumbling towards him whilst doing a sloppy salute. I turned around one last time and glanced at Eren. I smiled at him. A real smile. It spread widely across my face and lit up my eyes. I saw him smile back before I was forcefully dragged out of the room.  
Shadis lead me across the camp, taking me to speak with Erwin. "Doesn't the Survey Corps have a Head Quarters, Sir?" I inquired.  
"They do-" He replied. "But it's hardly in use anymore. When we arrived at the building it was swarming with soldiers. All of the commotion led me to believe that they'd just returned from an expedition. It was quite a sight. Mountains of corpses were piled up on wooden carts, multiple soldiers were bleeding out from various places; some were even missing limbs. I felt bile rise to the back of my throat. I continued to follow Shadis, passing the soldiers, my eyes glued to the floor.  
"We're here." I took a deep breath, preparing myself for disappointment. My hand slowly reached for the door handle, pushing it down. Then, I began to pull the door towards me, my palms slightly sweating. Before I had time to react, the wooden door came quickly rushing at my frame, knocking me off my feet and on to the hard flooring.  
"Ow, ow-" I cried, pain immediately searing up my leg.  
"Shit." I heard a voice say blankly. "You should really watch where you're going." The person stated, before making eye contact with me.  
It was Corporal Levi, Humanity's Strongest Soldier. The person who embarrassed me, saved me, and then cut my hair. I sighed. What a strange relationship we had. "I'll take that as an apology." I huffed, trying to force myself upwards. He stared at me struggling, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.  
"I see." He murmured, his glance trailing down to my leg. My cheeks turned bright pink. "I knew this would happen sooner or later." He finished, pulling me to my feet and leading me inside.  
"Commander." Levi, stated to the man sitting behind a desk. "You have someone here to see you." Commander Erwin was extremely tall, compared to my petite height he seemed like a titan. He had bright blonde hair and bushy eyebrows. I tried not to giggle.  
"Luka Hisami, Sir!" I saluted, snapping myself out of my thoughts.  
"Hisami, huh?" He questioned, his eyebrows raised. "You're parents were great soldiers." He spoke finally, breaking the silence. I nodded slowly, not wanting to speak.  
Luckily, Shadis decided to explain my situation to Erwin for me, so I wouldn't have to face him. I was grateful. I was slightly intimidated by the commander, something about him just seemed to make my spine shiver. "Levi." Erwin spoke, interrupting Shadis. "See to the girl's injury." I gulped, silently begging he'd chose someone else.  
"It's fine really-" I started, but was cut off by a cold glance.  
"Just shut up and follow me." I trailed slightly behind Levi, watching all of the soldiers cower in fear at the sight of him. I was rather confused. Sure, he gave off a menacing vibe, but I couldn't let go of the fact that he was the man who saved me. As we continued to walk down the hallways he shouted various things to the soldiers, adding more work to their list of chores. This is why they must be scared of him.  
When we finally arrived at the infirmary, I wish we hadn't. Men and women were in much more need of medical attention than I was. It almost made me feel guilty. I huffed and panted, stalking behind Levi. For a man of his height, he sure was fast. "Sit down." He pointed to an uncomfortable hospital bad. I did as instructed, relieved to finally take the weight off my leg. "Roll your trouser leg up." He stated blankly whilst looking in a cupboard for something. My face immediately heat up.  
"W-What?" I questioned loudly, my voice stuttering.  
"Quit being immature brat, you're wasting my time." I nodded silently, and lifted my material up, a little way past my ankle.   
I heard his breath hitch a little as his eyes rested on my scar. Even after all these years, the discoloured patch still plagued my skin, stretching up to my leg. It was disgusting. "Well-" He started, prying his eyes away. "There is nothing I can really do for this except maybe bandage it up for support." He finished, making eye contact with me. "What you really need is some rehabilitation, try to exercise on it gradually each day." I nodded gratefully, taking the advice into consideration. "Okay-" He spoke after a while. "Let's bandage you up."  
Picking up the roll of bandages on the table, he propped my leg up slightly, bending my knee. I felt really uncomfortable. My face was heating up for no reason and I felt nervous even being in the room.  
Then, he started to walk closer to me, making my heart beat quicken. I looked up at his eyes. I never could describe them; even though they were grey, they were fascinating. "Stay still." He ordered, looking annoyed. He started wrapping tightly from the heel of my foot upwards, surprisingly neat for a man. Then I noticed his hands. Dozens of tiny scars covered them, showing the disadvantages of being a soldier for years. Even if you did survive, you still had scars.  
After my bandages were done, we made our way back to Erwin's office, our footsteps echoing loudly on the floor. "Thank you Levi." I whispered, not making eye contact with him.  
"It's Corporal." He spoke harshly. I scoffed, he didn't mind when I called him Levi yesterday. Was it that he was ashamed to be seen with me in front of everyone else. I sighed, why would I even think that I could be friends with one of Humanity's highest ranking soldiers?  
After what seemed like an eternity, we finally reached Erwin's office once again. Without knocking, Levi burst through with an annoyed expression on his face. Was I really that bad? "Levi, Hisami." The Commander addressed us, looking surprised. "You took a while." He stated. I looked down at the floor. "Sorry, Sir." I saluted the best I could.  
"It's alright." He dismissed, staring straight through me. "Instructor Shadis and I have talked about your situation." He said coolly. My heart started to pound rapidly and my legs felt like jelly beneath me.   
"I've come to a decision."


	8. Chapter 7

"I've come to a decision."  
Year 847  
I walked out of the room letting the door close behind me. Sweat beads rolled down my forehead and my eyes remained wide. What just happened? Letting my footsteps echo on the floor below, I let my thoughts be processed in my head.  
I was not expecting this. I rubbed my temples deeply, trying to soothe my headache. Looking at the faces of the soldiers in the corridors, I noticed I'd have to get to know them sooner or later anyway. Soon enough I'd know all of their faces, names and stories. I was joining the Survey Corps.  
10 Minutes Earlier  
"I've come to a decision." Erwin stated, staring straight at me. I tried to ignore my shaking legs and dry throat. I nodded, not trusting my voice to respond. "Due to your-" His gaze rested upon my newly bandaged leg, "Condition." He finished looking past me to where Levi was standing. "It is quite obvious that you would be nothing but a hindrance to the military." My heart stopped. A hindrance.  
I felt hot tears well up in the corners of my eyes and start to stream down my cheeks. "However-" He started, making me wipe away my tears instantly and regain my composure. "Given the level that your parents were at, I have no doubt in my mind that you'll be able to achieve the same." I was speechless. What does this mean? I sniffed slightly, trying to come across as respectable. Erwin sighed, running his hands through his hair. "You have two choices."  
Again. I have two choices again, no doubt one is to leave the military for good. I nodded sharply, my heartbeat quickening. "The first is that you leave the military." He muttered bluntly. I shook my head so violently I thought it might roll onto the floor.  
"Sir I-" I exclaimed, walking up to his desk. "Or the second option-" He interrupted, becoming more serious. "You train here at the Survey Corps." I furrowed my eyebrows. What was the point of that?  
"Sir, with all due respects-" I started, letting my confusion get the best of me. "Levi will train you." Levi. I blinked. Humanity's Strongest Soldier was going to train the little girl with a limp.   
"Commander, is this really necessary?" I rushed, my cheeks glowing. He sat upright in his chair, about to respond. Thump. Levi's fists slammed down onto the desk, splintering it slightly.  
"What the hell Erwin?" He raged, his face inches away from the Commander's. "I am a Corporal, I have no time to be training insolent brats." He growled, annoyance written on his face. "Besides-" He muttered, turning around to look at me. "She's not worth any of our time." That was it. My fists were clenched tightly and my face turned a bright red color. How dare he?  
I took a step towards him. He was taller than me, but still quite short for a man. Grasping the material of his shirt in my hand, I pulled him harshly towards me, which was hard considering his build. "Listen here-" I whispered, deadly calm and my eyes narrowing into slits. "I am not useless, I am far from it." I spoke, staring him dead in the eye. "And if you don't believe me, I'll prove it."  
Year 847 Present  
I lent against the door frame and sighed. Erwin smoothed over the details after Levi stormed out of the room. Day by day, Levi would be training me, teaching me how to fight despite my injury. I don't want to leave the 104th Trainee Corps. I'd actually made friends, even if I didn't want to admit it. Though Shadis and Erwin both agreed that I'd be a distraction if I stayed there. Like hell I would.  
I hit the wall in front of me with the side of my fist. This was all going downhill. I liked Levi, I liked how he saved me and I liked the way he cared for me, despite the fact he'd denied it. The problem was that Levi didn't like me back. It was as if all of the anger that was bubbling up inside of him exploded, and was directed at me.  
Levi was meant to show me to my room, but after his childish fit I was left to my own devices. I silently wandered through the confusing building. Every corridor looked the same and so did the people at first glance. They all had the same expression, one that I'd have over time too. Their dull faces lacked emotion, they all seemed apathetic to what was happening around them. Or maybe they were just acting that way. Suddenly, a group of people caught my eye. Sitting in the middle of the room were five people who's faces were all lit up. I watched them closely, they were laughing and joking without a care in the world. I subconsciously found myself walking towards the group.  
"Excuse me." I was greeted by a sea on curious faces. Two females and three males.  
"Ahh, a new face." A female mumbled excitedly. She had messy brown hair which was pulled up into a pony tail. Her bangs framed her face slightly and she had glasses perched on top of her head.  
"Hi, I'm Luka Hisami, I was wondering if one of you could help me find my room?" I asked nervously. The group started whispering quietly among themselves.  
"You must be the one that Corporal Levi's so interested in." Another girl smiled at me. She had copper coloured hair that stopped just before her shoulders. She seemed friendly enough, her eyes seemed to be constantly glowing.   
"Excuse me?" I asked startled, feeling my cheeks heat up.  
"All he does is talk about you~" The woman with the glasses sang. "Even if he is just complaining." She finished, leaving me feeling deflated. As if he'd ever praise me, I'm just a hindrance.  
"Right." I snapped bluntly, killing the topic.  
"Come on limpy, I'll show you to your room." My mouth parted slightly as I stood there confused. "The Commander explained to me about your situation." The older woman stated, getting up from her seat. "So, are you just going to stand here all day?"  
As the woman, who I came to know as Hanji, showed me to my room, she told me about all of the members of Squad Levi, and a bit about herself too. The three men I saw earlier were; Eld, Gunther and Oulo and the woman was Petra Ral. What surprised me the most about what Hanji was saying, was her apparent love for titans. It riled me. How can someone possibly love the creatures who forced us behind walls like cattle? I couldn't understand it.  
When we reached my room she pointed a few things out to me. "That room-" She said, pointing to the left, down the hall. "Is mine." I nodded, taking it into account. "Those rooms-" She gestured to a cluster of doors next to each other. "are Gunther's, Oulo's, Eld's and Petra's. In that order." I nodded again, debating whether to write this down. "And lastly-" She stated, staring at the room two doors down from me. "that's Levi's~"  
I gulped and nodded, thanking her for showing me to my room. As soon as she left, I immediately swung open the door and collapsed onto my bed. Within the span of a single day, I'd gone from a trainee to an official member of the Survey Corps. Also, I'd be training with a Corporal who hates me. Sighing, I looked around the space I was in. It was a small room. It had a old closet, an uncomfortable bed and a desk. Nothing much. Slipping off my boots, I decided to get some rest. It had been a long day and it was getting quite late. I threw my jacket across the room along with the rest of my uniform. Then, pulling the scratchy covers over my body, I closed my eyes and let myself drift to sleep.  
5 Hours Later  
It was happening again. The gigantic being destroyed the wall, sending tremors beneath me. Again, humanity was being conquered by the titans. Again, we'd immediately lost our territory. Again. I quickly leaped into action, using my maneuver gear to help evacuate the citizens. Shouts and cries surrounded me as I failed to help my fallen comrades. Again I was useless, just a hindrance. I watched hopelessly as my team battled against the titans. It was obvious we were at a disadvantage, we'd been caught off guard. Even with Humanity's Strongest Soldier leading us, we didn't stand a chance. Suddenly, the world seemed to grow silent. Heavy footsteps gradually became louder behind me. A titan.  
Quickly, I charged at it, using my maneuver gear to travel to it's neck. Sweat pooled down my face and my hands tightly grasped my swords. I could make it, I was nearly there. A hand caught hold of me. I thrashed around, screaming and trying to force myself out of its grip. It was no use. It's muscles clenched, breaking multiple bones and leaving me limp. Then, it slowly brought me up to its mouth, it's lips parting wide open. This was it. Taking one last look around me, my eyes met with cold, grey ones, accompanied by a face that was screaming at me. The titans teeth smashed together, sending pools of blood splattering over my comrades. That was it. The end.  
847 Present  
I screamed, immediately sitting up in my bed. Cold sweat soaked my sheets and my hair unattractively clung to my forehead. It was just a dream. A nightmare. Trying to steady my raged breaths, I clenched the material of my blanket between my palms. It seemed so life like, so real.  
Suddenly, my door swung open, colliding with the wall. My heart skipped a beat. I was already jumpy and now I felt as if I was going to faint. My eyes lay on the person in my doorway. It was a man. He had dark messy hair, as if he'd just woken up. His eyes seemed tired though alert at the same time, and he was wearing a casual grey shirt and trousers. My eyes widened. It was Levi.  
"Corporal? What are you doing here-" I was cut off.  
"What's wrong, why did you scream?" He asked bluntly, trying to mask the little worry he had.  
"It was nothing, sorry to wake you." I spoke convincingly, hoping he'd drop the subject.  
"So you woke up the whole dorm for nothing?" He growled, taking a step towards me. "Listen here, just because I'm training you-" I felt salty tears well up in my eyes and continuously stream down my face.  
"I had a nightmare!" I wailed, my face red from embarrassment. "And if you're going to make fun of me, then just leave!" I spat, my voice shaky. For a moment I thought a saw a slight ounce of regret in his eyes.  
"Tch, brat." He muttered, before turning his back on me, about to leave the room.  
Before my brain even kicked in, warning me about the stupid thing I was going to do, I sat upright in my bed. "Wait!" It came out of my mouth without warning and left me fumbling for some sort of explanation. Stupid. What was I even expecting, for my Corporal to run over to me, stroke my hair and tell me that everything's alright? Only an idiot would believe that.  
Slowly, he turned around, his slightly widened eyes connecting with mine. "What do you want, a bedtime story?" Unbelievable. My face felt as if it was on fire and all I wanted was for this night to end. Before I could reply, he walked closer to me, making his way over to where I was sat. I felt my breath catch in my throat and my muscles tighten. After what felt like an eternity, he reached the spot where I was sitting, and took a seat beside me. What was he doing?  
Slowly he began to lean towards me. What was he doing? My heart began to race and my eyes widened. I could only guess that I looked like a frightened rabbit. My instincts suddenly took over and I felt my eyes flick close. I felt hot breath on my face that made the blood rush to my cheeks and my heart pump even more. Flick. I opened my eyes with a confused expression on my face. A small, sharp pain spread through my forehead. What just happened? Looking up at Levi, I saw his finger pressed against my forehead whilst his face held a dull expression. He just flicked me. "Go on brat, get to sleep." He said bluntly, before walking out of the room as if nothing happened.   
My jaw hung open and I was left speechless. What was I even expecting? I should be glad that he even treated me like that and didn't punish me. Still, why did I feel so disappointed? Pulling my blankets over me once again, I played the scene repeatedly in my mind, thinking of other possible outcomes. Finally, I shook my head, scolding myself for over exaggerating the situation. Tomorrow was a new day, and I should be focused on that.  
You only get one chance to make a good impression.


	9. Chapter 8

You only get one chance to make a good impression.  
Year 847  
I wake up to the bright light streaming in from my window. Everything's silent. I stretch out my back and neck whilst rubbing my eyes. Last night was a sleepless one. Glancing in the small mirror on the desk, I examine my reflection. I looked terrible. My hair stuck out in various places, making it look like a birds nest and I had dark, purple bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. I sighed to myself. I'd better get ready before anyone see's me like this-  
I was greeted by stern eyes, piercing through me. I froze. "Corporal, I'm not ready yet! Please give me a minute!" I fumbled, trying to untangle my hair, yet ended up just painfully raking my fingers through it.  
"Hisami." I looked up quickly, my cheeks burning and my fingers caught in the mess on top of my head. "You look awful." He stated bluntly. "Clean yourself up and get downstairs for training." With that one statement, he harshly shut the door, leaving me as a blubbering mess. I always embarrassed myself in front of him. I slowly stood up, pulling on my uniform and brushing the knots out of my hair. Then, I awkwardly shuffled out of the room, nervous about today's training.  
"Cadet." Levi stated, his eyes fixated on mine. I gulped, my palms clammy and the knot in my stomach intensifying.  
"Yes Corporal?" We were both headed outside to train on the grounds. I quickly followed his lead, trying to keep up with his fast strides. "Today, the 104th Trainee Squad is learning hand to hand combat-" He spoke, coming to a halt in the middle of the grounds. "Therefore, I shall also be teaching you it." I nodded obediently, trying to stop my legs from shaking. How was I supposed to fight against Humanity's Strongest Soldier? The thought made me quake in my boots. From what I've heard, he doesn't go 'easy' on anyone.  
I stood still as he eyed the space, examining it to see if it would be appropriate. After a moment he nodded and started to remove his jacket. I remained still, wondering if I should do the same. "Cadet." He said sharply, giving me a look of annoyance. I nodded, immediately removing my jacket and placing it on the ground near his.  
"Right-" He sighed as he examined my build, trying to determine the best way to teach me. I instantly wrapped my arms in front of my waist, feeling self conscious under his gaze. "I really don't have time for this." He muttered quietly, rubbing his temples deeply as if he was silently blaming me for this situation. I puffed out my cheeks childishly, I didn't care if he was my superior, this man could only be described as one thing, rude.  
"How do you know that I won't be good at this?" I question bitterly, turning to face him. "Sir." I added sarcastically, immediately regretting it. He raised his eyebrow slightly and I could tell he was amused at my remark.  
"Let's see then." He replied, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly. I quickly took a defensive stance, my legs spread to equally distribute my weight and my arms stiff in front of my face. Levi stayed where he was. He stood still in his place as if he expected me to make the first move. In all honesty, I didn't have a clue what I was doing.   
I quickly ran numerous scenarios through my mind, trying to determine the best possible outcome. His build and strength outweighed mine immensely, unfortunately, so did his speed. A kick was immediately ruled out of my options. Even if I were to successfully land a hit on him, my injury would mean that it wouldn't be powerful enough to knock him off his feet. Also if I were to use my other leg, my injured ankle wouldn't be able to support my weight. A punch would be the best option, preferably in the face so that I could disorient him and make a follow up move.  
Without warning I glanced to the right, giving the impression that I was headed in that direction. I then bobbed and weaved to the left, keeping my left arm secure in front of my face and pulling my right arm behind my head to gather momentum. Aiming for his face, I swung my fist in front of me, expecting it to collide. It didn't. Effortlessly, he dodged, merely taking a step to the side. "You can't rely on power alone." He spoke arrogantly, standing with his arms at his sides. I clenched my teeth and growled in frustration, trying to decide my next move.  
Considering the possibility that he'd attack me off guard, I decided I mustn't let my defense down. Unfortunately, Levi probably already knew that I couldn't attack with my legs, therefore he could counter my next move no matter what.  
Suddenly I had an idea, I'd catch him off guard. Once again, using all of my strength I clenched my knuckles and aimed for his abdomen. I needed him to counter attack, therefore I had to provoke him. This time, I knew where he was going to dodge, giving me a slight advantage. I sharply brought my right arm forward, making him dodge quickly to the left. Then, I immediately twisted my body to the direction I knew he'd move and brought my knee up without giving him time to react.  
Before my knee made contact with his stomach, he quickly used both arms to stop it. He wouldn't admit it but I could see a slight hint of surprise on his face. I was surprised too, it was as if my body was moving on it's own. I smirked out of satisfaction, the adrenalin coursing through my veins. Even though I couldn't use kicks, I could still use my knees and elbows to land a hit. I quickly moved back a few steps, trying to rack my brain for a final solution. I gasped.  
Unexpectedly, Levi came running up to where I was standing. He was going to counter attack. Was he going to punch me or kick me? I held my arms out in front of my face, trying to protect it from anything he'd throw at me. When he was close to me he clenched his fists, leading me to believe he was going in for a punch. I braced myself to block the oncoming impact.  
Just when his fist was about to collide with my arms, he did something even more unexpected. Using his right leg, he swiped it powerfully towards both of my legs, making them come up from underneath me. The punch was fake, a decoy. I knew what I had to do. In a matter of seconds I was able to react, I gripped his arm as tightly as I could, forcing him closer to me as I fell. His eyes widened and his eyebrows raised. He couldn't do anything to stop it. We both his the floor with force, creating a 'thump' that broke the silence. It was over.  
We both lay on our back, breathing heavily, sweat trickling down our faces. I turned my head to look at him. He wasn't as tired as me, though his hair slightly stuck to his face. I sat up, immediately feeling pain shoot up my leg from where I'd been kicked. "Tsss." I hissed in pain, trying to tighten my loose bandages. Levi quickly stood up after he'd caught his breath and offered his hand out to me. I stubbornly puffed out my cheeks and shook my head, attempting to stand on my own.  
"Stop being so awkward." He sighed out of annoyance, picking me up from under my arms and placing me on the ground. "That wasn't bad you know." He admitted, avoiding eye contact with me. My face lit up. He just complimented me.  
"But it wasn't great either." He stated bluntly, leaving me feeling deflated. "It's obvious that you are strategical when it comes to fighting, which is a good trait to have-" He started, running his fingers through his slightly damp hair. "But, you can't rely on that alone, just as you can't rely on power and speed alone." I nodded, taking it all into account. "You need to have an equal balance of everything, though in you're case, you are seriously lacking in power and speed." I frowned, though it knew it was the truth. "On the other hand, you're reflexes are not bad either." He muttered to his self, making his way back to the building. I shuffled behind him, trying not to put pressure on my ankle. "Corporal!" I called out as he went to open the door. "Thanks for everything." I muttered, my cheeks slightly pink. He nodded slowly, before disappearing out of sight.  
After training I was exhausted. I'd never done so much physical exercise in my life, hence why I was so unfit. After a while, I decided to just go back to my room and sleep before dinner.  
On the way back I couldn't help but smile to myself, even though I wasn't great, Levi still complimented me. It made me feel useful for once. When I reached my room, I immediately slumped down onto my bed, allowing a sigh to release from my mouth. All I wanted to do was sleep. Pulling off my boots, I noticed that my support bandages from the previous day had come lose and unraveled, leaving my ankle exposed. I ran my fingers over it and gasped. A large purple bruise spread from my ankle up to my leg, making it painful to touch. I'd only trained with Levi for a day and this was the result.  
I guess he is called Humanity's Strongest for a reason.


	10. Chapter 9

Year 847 One Month Later  
It had been a month. A whole month since I started the Survey Corps. A whole month since I'd started training. A month.  
Normally, a month wouldn't be a huge milestone in a persons life, but in my case, it was. I'd been worked to the bone, trained until I could barely stand and basically been stripped of my dignity. It was hard to say the least. Though it wasn't all for nothing. I can move quickly using the gear and I'm able to cut deep enough on the titan models, which makes up for my inability to maneuver on foot. No matter how much Levi may have annoyed me, I can't deny that he's a good instructor.  
Pulling my arms through the sleeves of my jacket I exited my room, shutting the door behind me. Erwin wanted to see me in his office, though I wasn't really sure what for. On the way I passed multiple soldiers whose names I'd finally managed to learn. Though I mostly stayed with Squad Levi, as they were probably the most friendly out of the Survey Corps.  
Even though I was in the military now, apart from training, this month had been quite uneventful. Sure, I'd made friends and enjoyed spending time with them, but I still felt a bit bored. Running my hand through my hair, which had actually grown a little, I knocked on Erwin's door. I waited for a minute, but there was no response. Was he even in there? I decided to open the door a little and check. As my hand slowly reached for the handle, I was startled by someone behind me clearing their throat. Immediately, I flailed my arms, holding back a yelp. I turned around quickly only to see a look of satisfaction plastered on the persons face.  
Seeing who it was, I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest. "What do you want?" I questioned blankly, staring into the eyes of my Corporal.  
"Is that anyway to speak to your superior?" He asked, clicking his tongue in annoyance.  
"My apologies-" I stated sarcastically. "Sir." I mimicked his tone, only to receive a cold glance from him. Over the last month, I could confidently say that I'd grown fond of him. I guess I could even call him a friend, even if he was my Corporal.  
I was snapped out of my thoughts when Erwin's office door suddenly swung open. "Ugh, Commander-." I stammered, trying to salute. He just stared down at me and Levi before motioning us to come in. I awkwardly stood beside Levi in front of his desk. Even sitting down, Erwin was taller than Levi and I. He was like a titan to me.  
"Levi?" He asked, making eye contact with the short man. Levi looked over to him, his eyes apathetic and his mouth in a permanent frown.  
"What is it eyebrows?" I bit down on the side of my mouth, trying not to cry out with laughter at the nickname. It was obvious that the Commander's most noticeable feature, was undoubtedly his eyebrows.  
Ignoring his comment, Erwin continued to stare at Levi. "I need to know how training is going with Hisami." He stated in a serious tone, completely ignoring my presence. I puffed out my cheeks as I watched the Commander and Levi speak about me as if I wasn't here. "So everything is fine?" Erwin finally questioned, after they'd finished.  
"Yes." Levi confidently spoke a one word answer. I lightly smiled, feeling quite proud all of a sudden.  
"Then it's settled." The Commander muttered, breaking the silence. "You'll accompany us on an expedition next month."  
Two Hours Later  
"Luka." What would I do on the expedition? "Luka." What if I let my comrades get killed? "Luka!" My head suddenly snapped up. At the moment it was lunch, and I was sitting on a table along with Squad Levi and Hanji.  
"Hmm?" I mumbled, my eyes connecting with Petra's warm ones.  
"Are you alright?" She asked, her face full with concern. "You look a little pale." It was true. My usual light skin had turned even paler and my eyes seemed slightly clouded.  
"I'm fine." I lied, looking away from her.  
"You're worried about the expedition aren't you?~" My eyes widened as I noticed Hanji appear by my side. I turned my head, avoiding her question. I knew that I wanted excitement, but now that I had it, I was scared.  
"Expedition?" Petra questioned, popping her head into our conversation. "The Commander told me all about it~" Hanji bragged, her eyes lighting up. "But- you've only trained for a month." Petra blurted out, causing both Hanji and I to look in her direction. "Sorry." She mumbled. "It's just that, well, are you sure you're ready?" She asked, using her words carefully. I still felt a rush of anger coarse through me. Was she underestimating me? Did she think I was useless?  
"Well, Levi did train me after all-" I stated bitterly. "And he told the Commander that I was great."  
After my sudden outburst at lunch, I decided to dismiss myself, leaving the group silent. I didn't know what came over me. Did I feel jealous? Did she feel jealous? My head began to hurt with all of the thinking I was doing. "Why am I such an idiot?" I asked myself, walking aimlessly around the building. Suddenly I stopped when I reached the door to Levi's office. Maybe I'd go and ask him for advice, or maybe just talk to him a little. I nodded to myself, deciding on the idea. I reached out my hand towards the door handle.  
"But Sir-" My hand quickly retracted as I heard a voice come from behind the door. A female's voice.  
With no regard for my dignity, I pressed my ear up against the cool wood and remained quiet. "I told you Petra it is my decision." My eyes widened. Why was Petra with Levi?  
"She's only been here for a month, why is she in your squad?" I let out a small gasp as I pressed my ear harder to the door. I was going to be in Levi's squad? More importantly, why did Petra have a problem with that?  
"Listen, Petra." Levi started with a gentle voice. "You need to trust me, she'll be a valuable member to our squad." I couldn't take it anymore, I was going to leave. I removed my ear from the door and let my arms fall to my sides. Bad idea. My elbow caught the door handle, pushing it downwards and causing the door to fly open. Since I was leaning against it, I went crashing into Levi's office too.  
I landed in a crumpled heap. My limbs spread out underneath me. At this point, I wanted to dig myself a grave. And I swear my face could have caught fire. Both Petra and Levi looked at me as if I were an ant under a microscope. I wanted to just shake it off, to say something casual and not make a scene. Unfortunately though, my eyes instantly welled up with tears, partly from embarrassment and partly from what Petra said. "Luka-" Levi said, his tone surprisingly gentle. I shook my head, not trusting my voice to speak. I quickly picked myself off the floor and left the room as fast as I could, hearing voices shout behind me.  
I made my way outside to the training grounds. It was deserted at the moment since most of the soldiers were learning the strategy for the new expedition. I let out a sigh, trying to cool my red face. Right now, I didn't care that I embarrassed myself. I just cared about Petra and Levi. Why was Petra saying that to Levi in the first place? Did she not like me? Were her and Levi together? I groaned, rubbing my temples and laying down on the damp grass. "Hey." I opened up eyes. It was Levi.  
"Go away, I wan't to be alone." I whispered, my voice raspy. Ignoring me, he sat down beside me, not saying a word.   
"Are you deaf? I said leave me alone." I growled, starting to get frustrated by his presence.  
"Listen-" He started, in a different tone than usual. "Don't worry about what Petra said, if anything she's just worried about you." I kept a straight face but on the inside I was smiling. Was this his attempt to comfort me?  
"I can take care of myself." I mumbled, turning my head to look at the ground. He sighed in defeat and looked up towards the sky. We stayed like that for a few moments. We were both silent, yet it was a comfortable silence, as if we were just content with each others presence.  
After a while Levi stood up. He didn't say a word, he just turned to leave. I don't know why, but it made me panic a little. I wanted to stop him. Should I grab his hand? No, that would be too cliche. Without even processing it, swung my leg in front of his, making him trip over and fall onto the tall grass. I couldn't help it. I let a wide smile take over my face as I laughed loudly, holding onto my stomach. He sat up, his face blank with pieces of grass stuck in his hair. I fell back onto the ground, tears almost streaming from my eyes. He clicked his tongue and attempted to shake out his hair with his hands. Finally, once I'd stopped laughing, I smiled lightly, glad that I was able to see this day.  
Levi held a stern expression a while after that. Though something tells me that he wasn't really angry. It was getting late now, but I didn't want to leave. I looked across at Levi. His face didn't seem blank to me anymore, it seemed peaceful. Unsure about my action, I leaned my head on his soldier, wondering how he'd react. To my surprise, he didn't push me off, though he did stiffen at the sudden contact. He was really warm.  
My head lay, between his shoulder and the crook of his neck. It was strange behavior for me. I'd hardly even spoken to many boys. Staying silent I allowed my eyes to shut and my body to relax. With the expedition coming up, I knew I wouldn't get many moments like this. That's why I had to make them count.  
You never know which memory is going to last.


	11. Chapter 10

Year 847  
My hands trembled and my breaths became shaky. The world around me seemed static to my dulled senses and I could feel myself slipping. The constant sound of hooves on cobblestone flooring put me into a trance-like state as I continued to move forward at a steady pace.   
I was on my way to my first expedition. Some might even say that I was marching towards my death. I stifled a laugh, trying to ease my nerves. Right now I was riding among Squad Levi, making my way to the gate. I felt a wave of nostalgia hit me as we passed through the city. A crowd of people had gathered to see us off; men, women and children. There were a mixture of expressions. Just like before, some cried, some tutted whilst others just smiled at us with admiration in their eyes. Before I joined the Survey Corps, I would've fallen into all three of those categories. Remaining silent, I looked straight ahead, not responding to any shouts or glances I received.  
I could feel the uneasiness in the air from the newer soldiers like myself. I looked over to Levi and Hanji. Levi was tutting at her as she poked the sides of his face and laughed. I couldn't help but laugh too. Even under these circumstances, their usual personality's never seemed to falter. When we finally reached the gate it became apparent that mostly everyone was consumed by fear. Excluding the Commander, Hanji and Levi of course. I tried my best to calm my nerves but I had little success.   
As I watched the gate slowly rise, it occurred to me that I didn't actually know what this expedition was about. I just followed orders like everyone else. However, it did cross my mind that I was the first person out of the 104th Trainee Squad to go outside the walls. And I had to admit it; it felt great.  
The time it took to get from the gate out into the real world was by far, the scariest thing I'd ever experienced. But it was worth it. It seemed like as soon as I stepped foot out of that cage, I was in an entirely different world. Planes of green grass stretched out as far as the eye could see and even the trees felt somehow different from inside the wall. I knew everyone else felt the same, even if they did let their fear get the best of them.  
"Oi Luka." I heard a monotone voice interrupt. "Keep focus, I don't want to take you home as a corpse on your first mission." I gulped and nodded, my eyes staring at the back on the raven man's head. At the moment my squad and I hadn't encountered a titan yet, we were in the centre of the formation therefore, had seen hardly anything. I felt both relieved and disappointed.   
Suddenly, I felt the wind pick up and the atmosphere change completely. Everyone else sensed it too. In front of me I could see Levi, his hands quickly tightened around the handles of his swords. I did the same. My whole squad became silent and everyone's eyes widened in search of a flare. Without warning a black flare erupted in the sky, making everyone gasp and tense in fear. During the course of learning strategies, I'd come to know what a black flare meant. An abnormal.  
Excluding the existence of the Colossal titan and the Armored titan, an abnormal titan was one of the most dangerous. It's behaviour was unpredictable. Sometimes it would even ignore humans altogether. Unfortunately, this time, that was not the case.  
Heavy footsteps broke the silence, as the figure of a titan in the distance came into view. Ignoring, the outer flanks, it strangely aimed directly towards us, it's eyes staring ominously. Suddenly, my squad started shouting questions at Levi, not daring to act without orders. He remained silent and carried on riding forward. "Corporal?" Oluo shouted, perspiration running down his forehead. Petra shot me a nervous glance whilst I returned a reassuring smile. I had to forgive her at some point, we were in the same squad after all.   
Oluo continued to shout at Levi, panic clearly in his voice. "Shut up." Levi spoke in his usual blunt tone. "I'll deal with it." The squad nodded at him obediently. In all honesty, I would prefer it if we all killed it together, not that I underestimated Levi's ability, I just didn't want him to get hurt.  
"Levi-" I whispered, ignoring the usual formalities. He shot me a look that cut me off completely.  
"Don't worry." He said softly, making eye contact with me. "I'll be fine." Slowly, the corners of his mouth curled up, shocking both my squad and I. Levi never smiled. I smiled in return and watched him ride off towards the titan, praying he'd be alright.  
Levi was getting nearer and nearer to the abnormal. I knew it must be hard for him since there were no trees for him to use his maneuver gear. He'd have to use the titan as a grip. Just as Levi approached the titan, it's ugly face directly in front of him, something strange happened. Even though it was called an 'abnormal', it's behavior still shocked us. Suddenly, without warning, it turned around and made it's way in a completely different direction. Nobody spoke, unsure of how to react. Levi stayed motionless as well. All of our faces changed to that of horror when we realized where the titan was headed.  
In the left flank, was a small group of about four people. Levi noticed and quickly started to make his way after the titan. It was no use, the monster started to sprint like an animal with only one thing on it's mind. In the corner of my eye I could still see Levi, he was fiercely urging his horse to go faster with no success. There was nothing he could do. I placed my hand over my mouth as I saw the titan come closer to the group. There were three men and one woman. They all had their swords at the ready, waiting to attack.  
When the titan finally reached them, time seemed to slow down. The first one to move was a man. He was about six foot and had dark hair. I couldn't make out the rest of his feature from here. He immediately abandoned his horse and shot his grappling hooks at the titan's thigh, making a deep incision with his blades. The titan didn't react. My heart started to race as I realized there was actually hope. The man then made his way to the titan's neck at amazing speed. The titan caught him.  
I gasped and felt my whole body start to shake. Then, even from here I heard a scream of anguish as the female launched towards the titan, trying to rescue her comrade. I continued to stare along with the rest of my team, all of us unable to tear our eyes away from the scene.  
It was a slaughter. The woman got killed first. The titan, harshly decapitating her when it's bloodied teeth crushed her frail neck. I felt my eyes well up with tears and my hands shake. I felt the familiar feeling of vulnerability return to my body. My comrades all gave me looks of empathy but knew there was nothing to say that could comfort me. I just had to learn to get used to it.  
In the distance I could see Levi. He was still sprinting towards to scene, harshly kicking his horse in attempt to go faster. He had regret written all over his face, but there was nothing he could do. I knew by now that he was definitely blaming himself, even though it wasn't his fault. This whole thing had taken only a matter of minutes, seconds even. Though right now, all he could do was stand back and watch.  
Without meaning to, I let out a sob, my cry breaking the silence and causing everyone to look at me. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't stop my body from shaking. I was pathetic. Next, the man in the titan's grasp was crushed to death, his blood splattering across the grass and the titan's sinister face. He was then eaten. The two men left seemed to slow down completely. Their movements became sluggish and it was apparent that they'd given up hope. I couldn't look any more. I shut my eyes.  
Finally, what seemed like an eternity of torture, the two men were devoured. I felt terribly selfish for thinking it, but I felt relieved that it was all over. I shakily leaned over the side of my horse, reluctantly emptying the contents of my stomach over the floor. Then I slowly sat back up wiping my mouth with the sleeve of my jacket.  
After a while, we finally received the news that this mission was a failure. Though I could tell from the overflowing cart of corpses. We were then told to retreat. The ride back to the gate was filled with regret. My face had paled and my hands quaked on the reins. Levi was no better. He tried to remain apathetic and hide beneath his facade. Though I could tell he was lying. It was as if I could see the weight resting on his shoulders. But still, I didn't say anything.  
When we reached the walls I felt numb. Everyone was awaiting out arrival, yet we had to disappoint them. That's when I finally realized. When you're a soldier, it's not yourself that you're fighting for. It's others. I tried to keep a straight face but it felt like my heart was being ripped apart. I didn't know the people who were killed, but something inside of my felt like I needed to learn all of their names and all about them as people. Then I could apologize for not being able to save them. I felt myself break inside when I realized that Levi must also feel this way. Only one hundred times worse.  
The whispers of the crowd became louder and louder until finally, people were shouting at us; swearing and insulting us as much as they could. I don't know why, but something told me that I deserved it. I lowered my head, too cowardly to meet their gazes, yet I continued to let them shout at me.   
If this was the burden carried by being a soldier, I decided, I did not want it.


	12. Chapter 11

Year 850  
I childishly skipped around, pestering the numerous soldiers gathering supplies. Today I'd be going on another expedition. I was shaking with excitement.  
Over the last couple of years not only had I been able to recuperate, with Levi's help of course, but my skills have improved drastically too. I'm no longer the cowering mess that used to stiffen at the sight of a titan. I can now take care of myself, or even others. In all honesty, training was tough, but without it I wouldn't be where I am today.  
Another thing that had lifted my spirits, was the news that my friends from the 104th Trainee Squad would be graduating today. I wasn't entirely sure who would be joining the Survey Corps, but I had no doubt in my mind that Eren would be. Even though I hadn't seen him in years, I still thought of Eren as a brother, and I hate to admit it; I missed him.  
Completely ignoring my chores, I continued to aimlessly wander around, in search of someone to annoy. After a while, I spotted a mop of raven hair accompanied by a grumpy looking face. "Levi~", I hummed his name and ran over to him, a grin spread across my face. I had to admit it, I'd actually gotten closer to the short man during the last few years.  
He slowly turned to face me, prying his eyes away from the paper in his hands. "What do you want?" He sighed, making it clear that I was bothering him. I puffed out my cheeks in a childish manner, which was totally unsuited for a twenty six year old. I was about to respond when he cut me off. "I was meant to tell you, Erwin wants to see you in his office."  
I looked up at the raven haired man, a confused look plastered on my face. "If this is about my chores I swear I wasn't slacking-" I quickly blurted, determining the reason I was called. Levi chuckled slightly, which made my heart skip a beat and my cheeks burn like a teenage girl in love.  
"It's not about that." He spoke finally, glancing at me side on. "But if you have been slacking off I'll-" I nodded quickly and spun on my heels, my back facing him.  
"I get it, see you later." I sang, dashing down the hallway past busy soldiers. When I was sure he wasn't looking, I looked back over my shoulder to savor one last glance of him.  
When I finally reached Erwin's office I felt my stomach knot and my heartbeat quicken. I hadn't done anything wrong had I? With shaky hands, I knocked on his door. Even after the years I spent here, he never failed to make my spine shiver.  
I heard him beckon me in front the opposite side of the door. Sighing, I opened it, trying to regain my composure. He was standing next to his desk, sorting through some papers and furrowing his eyebrows. "Ah, Hisami." He referred to me by my last name, whilst looking up from his work. "I'm glad you came."  
I gulped and nodded obediently, as if I'd done something wrong. Erwin chuckled at my actions. "You don't have to seem so nervous you know." He spoke in a friendly tone. I stifled a laugh. No matter how much I tried, the six foot man continued to make me feel like a child. He loomed over my small frame making me look like his daughter.  
"Regarding today's mission." Erwin spoke in a clear, commanding tone. I suddenly perked up, much more intrigued than before. I nodded, allowing him to continue. "You will not be attending." He announced, all trace of guilt absent from his voice.  
"Sir I-" I exclaimed, my voice rising higher than I wanted it to.  
"Soldier this is an order." He spoke firmly, immediately silencing me.  
"But why?" I whispered, seeming utterly defeated. I'd finally been able to overcome everything that was holding me back, yet I couldn't have the chance to prove it.  
"It's not that I think you're incapable." He reassured, pressing his large hand on my shoulder. "I just can't have all of my soldiers out on one expedition." I opened my mouth to interrupt but he put his finger up to silence me. "What if the Colossal Titan was to breach the wall again?"  
I remained quiet, lost in my train of thought. "Sir, that was five years ago." I finally spoke, my voice close to breaking.  
"I know it was, but is it any easier to cope with now than it was back then?"  
Closing the door behind me, I let out an angered sigh. He had a point. But why did it have to be me? I clenched my fists tightly to my sides and paced down the halls, my eyes narrowed and intimidating. I needed to get back to my room. My emotions seemed to be taking a hold of me, ready to burst at any moment. Biting me tongue, I continued to pace, my room now in view.  
"Luka." My name was called. I didn't have to turn around to know who's voice was calling me. I kept on walking, not wanting to face him at the moment. "Brat, I'm taking to you." I rolled my eyes, really not wanting to deal with verbal abuse right now, even if it was from him. "Hey." He spoke softly, his body now close to mine. I'd forgotten how fast he was. Turning to the left, I noticed my room only two doors down. If I left now maybe I could-  
"Stop trying to get away!" Levi finally snapped, harsher than he probably intended. I whipped my head back to face him, my eyebrows furrowed and hands curled into fists.  
"What do you want?" I asked, my voice deadly calm.  
"I want to know what's wrong with you." He spoke roughly, glaring straight into my eyes. I shivered.  
"It's nothing." I spat, my voice dripping with anger.  
I knew that I shouldn't be blaming him. It wasn't his fault, he just happened to be here when I needed to release my emotions. He took a quick intake of breath, not breaking his eye contact with me.  
"Well something's obviously wrong since you're acting like a spoiled brat!"  
I felt my heart stop. Part of me fought the urge to hit him, whilst the other part told me to just break down. I felt tears start to well up in the corners of my eyes, something that hadn't happened to me in a while. The second part of me won. For a moment I saw his eyes widen in surprise. "Just - leave me alone Levi." I whispered, my voice desperate. I turned around and hurried to my room, closing the door loudly behind me.  
As soon as I entered my room I slumped down onto my bed, burying my face into the blankets. All that could be heard was the muffled sounds of my cries into the pillows. My breath hitched as I heard the door slowly creak open. I remained buried in my blankets as I heard the door shut again followed by footsteps making their way over to me. "Hey." I felt a weight on the edge of my bed as the voice spoke softly to me. I stayed silent, trying to stop my shoulders from shaking pathetically.  
"I'm sorry I shouted at you." My eyes widened. Using my arms, I pushed myself up and turned to face the man perched on the corner of my bed. He wasn't talking to me as my Corporal, but as my friend. I smiled through my tears. He looked utterly defeated, as if he wasn't used to apologizing. Using the corners of my sleeves, I wiped my face, immediately feeling better.  
"You did nothing wrong." I told him truthfully. "You don't have to apologize for anything." He looked up, his gaze no longer on the floor but on me. I didn't know how to react. To put it simply; our relationship was strange. I'd been saved by this man, trained by him and now I actually had feelings for him. However, I still couldn't determine what type of feelings they were.  
I continued to smile at him, thinking back to the days I'd see him riding through my village along with the rest of the Survey Corps. Who would've thought I'd be here beside him? I couldn't put it into words but he somehow made me feel at home. Not the type of home where I'd just sit alone all day, relying on my uncle for support. But the type that I never really got to experience.  
Before I new it I felt the tears well up in my eyes again. Levi looked over at me worriedly, placing his warm hand on my shoulder. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. I wasn't crying out of sadness, but out of happiness. I couldn't deny it; I was happy that I met him. He saved me, in more ways than one.  
Outstretching my arms like a child, I wrapped them around his neck, pulling his face closer to mine. It surprised me when he didn't pull back or scold me for embracing him so shamelessly. He stayed silent. I could feel his warm breath on my neck, making my heart race. It sounded cliche, but I wanted to stay like this forever.  
I went to pull back, content with seeing the small glimpse of the new side of Levi. It startled me when I felt his hands grasp the material of my jacket, motioning me not to let go. I didn't know how to react. Slowly, he brought his head up from leaning on my shoulder and looked me directly in the eye. I couldn't read his expression. I never could. I could never predict what he was going to do next. And in all honesty, the man never failed to surprise me.  
His face started to move closer to mine. My heart sped up. Was he really doing this? I remembered the last time this happened, I'd mistaken a kiss for a mere flick on the forehead. Was he going to pull the same trick again? I prayed to God that he wouldn't.  
I took a quick intake of breath when he neared my lips. I'd finally come to realize it. I didn't just think of Levi as my Corporal, a friend, or the person I felt in debt to after saving me. This was real. This is how I felt about him.  
My eyes flicked shut and my hands remained where they were, wrapped around the back of his neck. I felt his lips softly touch mine. It was sweet. A total contradiction to his usual demeanor. Though it only lasted for a couple of seconds, it made me feel better than words can describe. I couldn't tell whether he was holding back or whether he just wanted to kiss me like that. Either way, I was just glad I was with him.  
When he pulled back I remained silent, studying his features as if he'd suddenly stand up and leave me. The look on his face remained the same. He didn't seem to regret it. Neither did I.  
"That was my first kiss." I whispered, my cheeks dusted pink. I was twenty six years old, yet that soft kiss meant more to me than any amount of kisses that women me age had experienced. He continued to stare at me, unsure of what to say. When he finally began to speak I cut him off. "I'm glad." I finished, smiling at him.  
The corner of his mouth rose slightly as he kissed the top of my forehead. I stayed motionless, still new to these displays of affection. He then kicked off his heavy boots and lay back on my uncomfortable bed, glancing at me to the side.  
I was confused. Did he want me to lay down too? He clicked his tongue in annoyance, and pulled me down by my waist. He then pulled by closer to him, making me suddenly feel self conscious. "Levi." I whispered, trying to release myself from his grasp. He moaned in response, his eyes shut as if he were trying to sleep. "You have an expedition in a few hours, shouldn't you be getting ready?"  
He opened one eye and glanced at me from the side. "What do you mean, just me?" He questioned, his arms never leaving my frame.  
"Erwin said I have to stay here." I whispered, burying my face into his side. "It's not fair." I pouted, feeling my depression overcome me again.  
I felt his hand stroke my hair, running his fingers through it. He knew how much it meant to me. "You'll get to go on the next one." He reassured, continuing to stroke my head. I hummed, trying to mask my disappointment.  
It really wasn't fair. I sighed, moving closer to Levi for his warmth. It wasn't fair that I couldn't go on the expedition. And it wasn't fair that Levi would have to leave soon, and I couldn't be there with him. It was if he was leaving me behind.  
I couldn't get the thought out of my head. "Levi?" I whispered into his neck. "The last time you held me like this - you handed me over to that man in the boat and left." I continued, knowing how selfish I sounded. He looked over at me with a confused look before recognition flashed on his face. The memories stayed fresh in my mind too. Five years ago, when the Titans broke through the wall, Levi carried me to safety - then left.  
I couldn't blame him since he had a duty to carry out, but now I can't help thinking that he'll leave me again. I felt his chest start to vibrate as he laughed quietly. Lifting my head up, I met his eyes. "I think you underestimate me." He stated, once again closing his eyes. I nodded in agreement, still hoping for his safe return.  
We continued lying in silence, making the most of out time with each other. Levi then turned to the side and buried his face into the back of my neck. I smiled to myself, thinking how only hours ago he was nothing more than a friend. The rules say that your superiors are meant to be your leader and nothing more. I laughed to myself. Since I already broke that rule, I don't see how being with Levi could be any different.  
You know what they say; rules are made to be broken.


	13. Chapter 12

Year 850  
They say that once you've reached cloud nine you can't go any higher, you just descend back to reality. I guess that's not an easy thing to face.  
It seems as if the events that occurred only hours ago were nothing more than figments of my imagination.  
I watched solemnly as Levi and numerous other soldiers prepared for the expedition. Levi's face was stern and held no emotion. You'd never guess that earlier on in the day, he'd buried his face into the back of my neck like a child. I felt my cheeks flush.  
Now wasn't the time, I told myself as I raised my hands to my face in attempt to cool it down. I walked over to his group slowly. They seemed lively as ever, but now able to watch from the sidelines, I realized for the first time; they weren't.  
The squads prepared themselves for venturing outside the wall whilst Levi continued to roll his eyes muttering the words 'shitty glasses' as Hanji kept pestering him. I smiled a little before finally reaching the group. It became apparent pretty quickly that there was nothing I could say that would be of any use. Though I still remained by their sides.  
During the few years I'd trained here, Petra and I had become close friends. Her kind-hearted nature seemed the complete opposite of mine at first, but we made it work. It was the same situation for Hanji. Originally, I secretly despised how she'd confess her love for titans in front of me. However, I began to realize that without people like her, humanity wouldn't be advancing at the rate it is.  
I let out a sigh, my eyes scanning everyone's features. I wish I could be there with them. I felt my stomach drop as the thought of them not returning crossed my mind. I hate to admit it, but I've become somewhat reliant on these people.  
After what seemed like a lifetime of tediously waiting, everyone finally mounted their horses. I made my way over to Levi.  
"If you're expecting us to have some deep, heartfelt conversation; forget it." He told me in his usual monotone voice.  
"Wouldn't dream of it." I retorted, the corners of my mouth slightly raised. Though, deep down, I would've liked to say something to him. Who knows, this could be my last time to do it.  
"Stop acting like a brat, we'll be fine." He assured, judging from the look on my face. "I'll make sure everyone comes home to you, I promise." I let out a half-hearted smile, holding back to urge to hit him for making an empty promise he couldn't keep.  
No matter how hard I wanted to believe it; Levi wasn't invincible. He couldn't defeat every single titan in the world. And he sure as hell couldn't do it having to protect other people as well. My breath hitched. Was I a distraction to him? Would the time come that he'd abandon his orders for me? I let out a shaky laugh. Like that would ever happen. He probably thought of me as a cure for boredom, nothing more. I felt my heart drop as I realized how much he meant to me.  
Forcing the remaining doubt from my mind, I faked a smile at the group, calming both them and myself down. "I guess I'll see you soon then?" I asked to no one in particular, my gaze drifting to the nearby gate. I heard some laughter that caught my interest.  
"With my kill count there's nothing to worry about." Oluo boasted, clearly trying to impress someone who remained oblivious. I giggled to myself, wondering how these idiots never failed to make me feel better.  
All to soon I realized it was time for them to leave. "Will I ever see you again?" I called eccentrically to the brunette female, clutching me heart in a joking manner. Hanji snorted and reached one of her arms down to meet mine.  
"Of course my love." She replied, in the same exaggerated tone, making us both begin to giggle.  
"Sorry to interrupt the lovers." Levi announced, seeming unamused. "But we have to leave now." I frowned, noticing my fun had come to an end. In all honesty I was just trying to stall them, hoping they'd never leave. I felt myself frown slightly.  
"Don't make that face." Levi reached his hand to the top of my head. "It's unsightly." He finished, ruffling my hair gently. I frowned again, seeing the corners of his lips upturn slightly.  
"Don't worry Luka, we'll be back sometime later today!" Petra called, whilst being ushered along by a superior. I waved in reply, shouting at the group to stay safe. Levi hung behind slightly, gesturing he had more to say.  
"Look after everyone for me." He spoke seriously, halting his horse for a moment. I nodded, not knowing what else to say. "And make sure to clean that filthy room of yours when I'm gone." He laughed, dimples appearing under his cheeks. I nodded again, my face flushed.  
He then placed his hand on my shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze, before riding to catch up with the rest of the squad. I bit my bottom lip roughly, determined to keep it together. It was no use, my hands were shaking and my lips trembled softly. I needed to wait, I told myself sternly. Seeing the squad finally begin to fade out of my vision, I let go.  
My cheeks were noticeably flushed from holding back the tears that now flowed uncontrollably. They ran down my cheeks and along my jaw, soaking the inside of my collar. I was hopeless, I determined. I couldn't be independent for even a single day. Continuing to blubber, my hands covered my face from embarrassment as the other soldiers watched in confusion. I felt frightened. As if the warmth I became accustomed to, suddenly was ripped away from me. It was painful.  
Trying to recover from my quaking shoulders and blurred vision, I remembered something that could take my mind off things, Levi in particular. Suddenly feeling weak, I made my way back to my building, deciding to find out where the newest trainees were.  
Eren had graduated today, along with Mikasa, Armin and the others. I didn't want to miss my chance to greet them properly, even if my mind was elsewhere. It made me feel better realizing how hard they all must have worked to get here. In hindsight, I guess it was unfair how I got special treatment. Just once, I wish I didn't have to be so reliant on others. Soon, it would be my turn to prove myself and show that I too can be useful.  
Roaming the halls of the building, I began to notice how alone I truly was. I recognized the people by face and not name. I chuckled to myself sadly, realizing how familiar this seemed. Stopping for a moment, I finally managed to ask someone what I needed to know. She was a girl about my age, blonde hair and green eyes, she seemed memorable. However, even after years of training, I couldn't even remember her name. It was pitiful. Quickly thanking her, I made my way to the edge of the wall to meet up with the others. I just hope they hadn't forgotten me.  
It's strange how some people can grow over time. My delinquent of a little brother, even though not related by blood, had suddenly become a soldier in front of my eyes. I watched from behind the crates, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by nostalgia. I watched them all laugh and joke, wandering how they could recover in such time. That made me think, had they really gotten over the devastation of five years ago? Of course they hadn't, they're just like the rest of us after all.  
I smiled to myself. Seeing them all like this made me happy. Even if it did sound cliche, they deserved happiness more than anyone. I felt tears well up in my eyes again. "Huh, I guess I've been crying a lot lately." I laughed to myself, wiping my face with my sleeve.  
"Luka?" I felt my heart stop for a moment as I sensed someone approaching from behind me.  
"Jean?" He'd grown notably taller, just as the rest had. His facial features seemed more defined and mature, not to mention that his build had definitely improved too.  
"What are you doing here?" He stuttered, his hand reaching to the back of his neck. Without thinking, I quickly latched onto his sleeve, pulling him out of sight behind the crate. "What- hey!" His eyes widened and cheeks flushed slightly.  
"Shh." I placed a finger over my lips, gesturing him to be quiet. "I'm watching them." I whispered calmly, my eyes not leaving the group.  
"Why?" He asked, brows furrowed.  
"I want to see how they're doing." I replied honestly. Originally, I'd planned to run into Eren's arms in a classic reunion scenario. However, now that I'm here, I guess you could say my nerves got the better of me. I heard Jean sigh beside me. Come to think of it, why was he here? Was he actually joining the Survey Corps? Before I could ask, I felt myself being hoisted up and overpowered into revealing myself. I hate to admit it, but he was stronger than he looked.  
As all eyes landed on me I froze like a rabbit caught in a trap. My palms suddenly became clammy and I felt as if my heart might shatter inside my rib cage. "Morning." I muttered, mentally hitting myself. I hadn't seen my friends in three years and all I can manage is a measly 'morning'. I'm ashamed of myself.  
I lowered my head out of embarrassment and stared at my feet beneath me. Biting my lip hard I realized I'd made the situation more awkward than it needed to be. Suddenly, I saw someone else's feet come to a stop opposite mine. I was afraid to look up. Before I had time to react, I was engulfed by gentle arms.  
The person was much larger than me, both by height and build. They were warm. My eyes widened as I felt a dampness on the side of my neck. Were they crying? It all fell into place. "Eren." I mumbled into his chest, feeling my own cheeks dampen from my tears. I clutched onto his shirt desperately, letting out my frustrations from the whole day. "I'm sorry I left you all." I whimpered pathetically, un-attaching myself from Eren to face the others. "I'm sorry." I repeated again, tears streaming down my face. It was almost ironic to think that someone like me was in the military.  
The shock on my face was apparent when I saw the others tearing up too. I didn't know how to react, but I knew for certain that I felt happy. I felt myself smile under the blanket of tears on my face. I wanted them to all know how much I'd missed them.  
"I've cried to much today." I spoke, finally able to compose myself."I guess that's the only way I can show my emotions." I laughed, rubbing my red eyes. I heard a chorus of chuckles follow up from the group. "If I don't stop now, I might be mistaken for a waterfall." I giggled at myself, making eye contact with Connie and Sasha.  
"Since when did you become such a crybaby?" I directed at Eren, retracting my hand away from him as I realized I was too short to ruffle his hair now.  
"I could say the same for you." He retorted, wiping the remainders of his tears away.  
"You sure have all grown." I spoke finally, deciding to change the subject. It was true though, they looked more mature, more like adults.  
"Sad to say you haven't." I heard Connie joke from behind me. "If anything, you've shrunk." Sasha chimed in. I rolled my eyes.  
"Could still kick your ass in a fight though." I teased, my confidence slowly being restored. This felt so natural, as if the three year gap didn't mean anything to them. I only wished that I could introduce them to squad Levi. Though that might be too selfish of me.  
Everything seemed perfect, as if all of the tears and self pity up until now had vanished, leaving me polished and content. I knew that the harsh reality would kick in sooner or later, but for the time being, I was happy.  
A shadow was sudden cast over us all. It was dense and devoured the remaining drops of sunlight. To me, it seemed like death itself. It was familiar. It was deadly. It was the destruction of humanity. And we'd have to face it sooner or later.  
After all, this is the harsh reality.


	14. Chapter 13

Year 850

It was back. The Colossal Titan was back.

Once again, a single kick was all that was needed for chaos to descend. No one had time to react as the force sent us through the air, off the edge of the wall. "Eren." I shouted, desperately trying to use my grapple to stop myself from free falling. My vision became blurred and the wind harshly whipped passed my face.  
All of a sudden I saw Sasha run passed me, straight down the side of the wall. Using her grapple she managed to catch a falling soldier, the spikes piercing straight through his leg. "Try not to move!" She shouted, the rest of us still in turmoil.  
They'd only just graduated and they would have to face the same fear as five years ago. Suddenly I heard a loud cry of anger. Eren had wasted no time in re-mounting the wall and preparing to fight the titan. "You can't be serious." I whispered, sweat trickling down the back of my neck. Without warning he began to run furiously up the giants arm, piercing its flesh with his swords. We all watched in terror, unable to move. I'd been in the Survey Corps much longer than him, yet all I could do was watch.  
When Eren finally made his way to strike the neck I felt my heartbeat quicken. I'd only just managed to stop myself from plummeting to the ground, yet in the short space of time, Eren had managed to accomplish more than I could ever imagine. He truly was amazing.  
Though it didn't last. The minute before Eren's blades were able to make contact, clouds of smoke blocked my vision. They obstructed everyone's view, including Eren's. Then suddenly, as the smoke began to disperse, we realized that the Colossal Titan was gone.  
"What the-?" I heard murmurs around me, my eyes widened and shock became apparent on my face. How? Just like five years ago the Colossal Titan had reappeared and disappeared in only a matter of seconds. It didn't seem real.  
After I'd finally come to my senses, I realized that now wasn't the time to be questioning things. It was the time for fighting. I had to make it back to my building and group up with the rest of the soldiers. I needed my orders, or else I was useless.  
"Mikasa!" I called over the sound of the falling rubble. "I have to go to my regiment, look after everyone for me!" It was a heavy burden but I needed someone to rely on. She nodded her head in agreement before telling me to be careful as well.  
With no time to properly say goodbye, I used my maneuver gear on the nearby houses to get back to base. It was obvious our goal was to evacuate the citizens as soon as possible.  
When I arrived, I was placed into a group immediately. There were hardly any members of the Survey Corps left due to today's expedition, but we knew we had to make the most of it. I was put into a group filled with people I barely knew. Then, we were sent to fight on the front lines.  
I could feel my heart race with every zip of my gear. Titans were pouring in through the hole by the minute. Their grotesque faces staring at us like meat. I felt an uneasy feeling in the pits of my stomach as I dashed forward. I knew I that I had to kill these monsters, both for the people and myself.  
"I'll take the one on the right!" I shouted to no one in particular. There were three titans approaching simultaneously, two to the left and one coming from the right. They couldn't be more than eight meter class. I knew by now Eren and the others would already be in the midst of the action. I clenched my fists around the hilt of my swords. I could only hope they'd be okay.  
Travelling at a faster speed I made my war towards the titan, fully focused on it. This would be my first solo kill. I could feel my hands shake from adrenaline and my palms sweat slightly. This was it. It's as if every moment until now counted towards this. Every lap around the track, every training session with Levi in the rain. I took a sharp intake of breath. I could do this.  
When my grapple eventually made contact with the titans skin I knew it wouldn't be an easy fight. Somehow this titan seemed more aware than the others. It spotted me right away, furiously swatting it limbs to try and catch me. I held my breath, trying not to make a sound. Now was one of the few times I was actually grateful for Levi's harsh training schedules. He'd made me faster, stronger and given me a will to survive.  
Quickly ducking, I merely missed the giants hand, trying to swat me away like a fly. I gritted my teeth silently, in the midst of concentration. Finally, after what seemed like hours, I managed to securely land my grapple into the back on its neck, speeding up towards it. Then, with a carefully planned strike, I sliced the nape of the neck, taking a chunk of flesh out with it. It was exhausting.  
I panted heavily, wiping my upper brow with the sleeve of my jacket. I didn't know how Levi did it. A single titan had left me breathless yet there were still many left, pouring in through the hole. "We have to cover up the hole!" I heard someone to my left call. It was true, but also impossible given the current situation.  
Taking a swift look around me, I realized how dire the circumstances really were. Corpses littered the floor just like five years ago, and the remaining survivors flocked towards the few exits. Then I decided. I had to go find the others.  
It's not often a soldier decides to abandon their order in the heat of battle. However, I couldn't stand idly by, not knowing if my friends were alive or not. I'd still fight the titans, just along side them.  
As I used my gear to make my way to the others, I remembered a little earlier on in the day. "Look after everyone for me." Levi's words rang throughout my mind. It was ironic, as if he could almost tell something would happen. Nodding to myself slightly, I decided this was the right thing to do. They were my family after all, and family is to be protected at all costs.  
Just as I began to approach the trainees, I caught sight of Eren and Armin. I smiled to myself slightly, they were alive, they were okay. Eren was flying over the houses, the usual determination apparent in his eyes. Had something happened? Further in the distance I could make out the figure of Armin and some others, desperately calling Eren's name. I furrowed my brows. Something definitely wasn't right here.  
Then, my whole world seemed to slow down. Eren, still furiously maneuvering passed the houses, making his way towards a titan with rage in his eyes. Then, all I could see was blood. Blood everywhere, over Eren, the houses, the streets. Blood.  
Eren lay motionless on the roof of a house, his entire left leg missing, his body caked in blood. I tried to call out but my voice refused to work. My throat became dry and I couldn't form the words I needed. Armin froze in place. The sight of Eren and his fallen comrades obviously shutting him down. I felt paralyzed myself, the boy I saw as my brother lay face down, his eyes completely shut. He looked dead.  
Unable to tear my eyes away from the scene, I remained in my place, unable to control my body. Then, I saw it. The titan hoisted Armin up from where he stood, dangling his lifeless body over his mouth. "Armin." A whisper, barely audible, left my mouth. "Armin." I screeched, my senses finally escaping their state of paralysis.  
Just as Armin's frail body was dropped down the beasts throat, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Eren. Still missing a limb, he clutched onto Armin tightly, not letting go for a second. Then, taking hold of Armin's whimpering body, he hauled him to safety, onto the nearest roof.  
I needed to do something. Millions of scenarios ran through my mind as I considered the possible outcome. I needed to get to them. I quickly began to move closer to them, the scene in front of my now becoming clearer.  
Eren, struggling to keep the titans jaw open stared directly at Armin, his eyes wide and determine. "Eren!" Armin cried furiously, tears now freely streaming down his face. I was still too far away.  
"Eren!" I joined, in hope he'd somehow be transported near me. I continued to run over the houses as fast as my legs would carry me. He glanced in my direction for a split second before looking downwards.  
"We can't die here." He spoke slowly, in a deadly calm manner. "You were the one who told me about it Armin." He continued, making eye contact with the petrified blonde. Armin's tears continuously poured down his face, trickling onto the ground below. Almost there.  
Impatience began to build up inside me, accompanied by a feeling of desperateness. I shouted in frustration, finally making it to where Armin was. "Eren!" I cried, my voice rough and shaky.  
"That's why I want to see it," He continued, his voice low and determine. "The outside world."  
Then he outstretched his arm to us, making direct eye contact. "Eren!" I screeched, unable to say or do anything else. No tears ran down my face, nor did my legs shake. I simply widened my eyes, trying to process what was happening.  
I quickly lifted up my arm in attempt to meet his, desperately trying to grasp it. Then he smiled at us. It was sweet and innocent, only lasting for a second.  
The titans jaw clamped shut. Eren's arm detaching from his body and landing next to us, blood spattering everywhere. Eren was gone, devoured by the titan.  
Armin let out a loud scream, repeatedly calling Eren's name. I remained silent. This wasn't happening, was it? Clenching the material of Armin's jacket, I pulled him up, telling him we needed to regroup. I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't accept this.  
We sat propped against a wall, other members surrounding us. We still hadn't encountered Mikasa. Armin was crying. His shoulders shook uncontrollably and his eyes became red within a matter or minutes.  
"There's nothing to worry about Armin." I spoke, almost short of a whisper. "Eren's fine." He suddenly made eye contact with me, a look of surprise on his face. He remained silent for a moment before finally confronting me. His face softened slightly.  
"Luka-" He started, his face showing concern.  
"He's fine." I snapped, harsher than intended. He had to be fine, he was my little brother after all. Turning to face Armin, I smiled, trying to hide my shaking hands.  
"Armin, Luka!" A person cried out to us from a distance. It was Mikasa. She raced forward to meet us, a distressed look on her face. "I was so worried." She  
started, placing both of her hands on ours. "Where's Eren?"  
Armin's face contorted in pain as he rested his head in his hands. He began to shake again, seeming like a lost child. Mikasa then made eye contact with me, as if expecting some kind of answer. I only stared back.  
"Eren-" Armin started, his eyes beginning to water again. "Eren's dead."  
Mikasa eyes only widened for a split second before composing herself again. Nodding to the both of us, she stood up, pulling us both with her. "Now's not the time to be worrying." She spoke, her eyes coldly staring ahead. "We have a job to do as soldiers, that's what Eren would've wanted."  
I laughed, causing all eyes turning to face me. "Stop it, all of you." I mocked, my eyes narrowing out of spite. "Eren's not dead."  
Some gasps were heard around me and Mikasa's face began to look hopeful. She then looked at Armin, as if expecting to hear that he was lying.  
"Luka!" Armin finally snapped, his voice raising. "We saw it with our own eyes!"  
I couldn't take it anymore. Storming towards him, I gripped his collar tightly, puling him to eye level to me.  
"He's not dead!" I roared, my eyes staring into his and my knuckles turning white from the pressure.  
Suddenly I felt a hand collide with my face. "Stop it." A cold voice cut through the air like a razor. Clutching onto my throbbing cheek, I felt myself being brought back to my senses. "Stop being in denial." Mikasa's eyes connected with mine, refusing to back down.  
Unable to hold it in anymore, I felt my knees give in from under me, causing them to collide with the ground. "Eren's dead." I whispered, barely audible. "He's dead and I couldn't save him." I yelled, sobbing into my hands. It then became silent as everyone began to witness my break down.  
"I let my little brother die." I shrieked again, making confused expressions appear on everyone's faces. I didn't care. I continued shaking, desperately clawing at my face to try and take away my pain. "It's all my fault."  
Levi's words suddenly rang through my mind again. "Protect everyone for me." I screamed out once again, clenching my knuckles.  
"I'm sorry Levi, I couldn't do it." I whispered, leaving only me to hear.  
"And Eren-" I spoke, my tears finally beginning to dry on my stained cheeks.  
"I'm sorry I couldn't save you."


	15. Chapter 14

Year 850 

I felt my world begin to shatter around me; like pieces of glass falling to the ground. Death wasn't something I could cope with well, especially when it was someone close to me who had died.

"Now isn't the time to be emotional." I felt a warm hand rest tightly on my shoulder.

My head raised slightly so that my gaze met Mikasa's. Her eyes seemed almost lifeless, like they had lost their spark and reason for living. Then it hit me, she too was coping with Eren's death, even if we couldn't notice it.

I nodded slowly, not bothering to rid my face of dried tears. "If we can remove the titans from around HQ, we will be able to replenish our gas." She spoke finally, making her voice heard by all of the group. Everyone turned to face us. "Then we can all climb the wall, correct?" She challenged, her aura suddenly taking the form of a superior. 

There were various murmurs from the group, sweat trickled down their faces and their eyes were filled with uneasiness. "Yes..." A man spoke. I turned my head, following the voice. It was Marco. "-But even with you here, there's too many." He finished solemnly, his eyes not daring to face Mikasa's.

Watching the scene unfold in front of me, I finally realized something. I was being a burden. We were in the midst of battle, yet I knelt, cowering like a child. Pressing my knuckles into the ground, I pushed my body upwards, wearily finding my footing. I'd rather die than become known as a hindrance. No matter how impossible Mikasa's plan seemed, I would gladly help if it meant I could be of use.

"Mikasa, I-" My voice was harshly cut off, the sound of unsheathed metal ringing through the air.

"We can do it." The voices grew silent, all that was left was the steady blowing of the wind. "I am strong."

Silently, I turned to face Mikasa. None of us had any doubt that she was strong, however-

"I am stronger than all of you-" Her voice raised, "I am extremely strong." 

I smiled to myself slightly. I could see what she was doing.

"I can kill all of the titans here, even if I am alone." She confidently raised her sword upwards, towards the air. He legs equally distributed her weight, keeping her posture strong and tall. "You are all spineless cowards." She spoke in a monotone voice, lowering her sword outwards. 

"Pathetic." She spat, her sword remaining accusingly pointed at them. "You can all just stay here." She turned, her back facing the rest.

"Mikasa-" I whispered. Making my way over to her. I wouldn't let her go alone.

Suddenly, the rest of the group began to shout, questioning Mikasa's authority and their own positions. "You can't do it!" One finally cried, "There's too many." Another voiced, their anticipation rising.

"If I can't, I'll die." The voices died down immediately, Mikasa's presence taking over. "But if I win, I'll live." 

Launching her grappling hook into a nearby building, she left instantly, not looking to see if she had won over the group.

My heart raced in my chest. Her speech leaving me on edge, adrenaline now coursing through my veins. I glanced over at Armin, his eyes also rapidly darted among the group. It remained silent.

My legs began to shake as I made my way to the roof's edge. Unlike Mikasa, I didn't have any powers of persuasion, I couldn't force them into action. But, I had to do something. Opening my mouth, I prepared myself for my own speech, trying to inspire something. "Hey-"

Once again, someone beat me to it. "Damn it Eren, this is all your fault." An angered voiced muttered under their breath. "Right, all of you!" Jean yelled, quite not believing in his own actions. "Are you spineless cowards, or will you fight?" 

That was the final push. Almost immediately, swords became unsheathed and soldiers prepared for battle. Different people began to leave, following hastily after Mikasa, shouting and yelling with pride. The atmosphere made goosebumps spread over the surface of my skin.

Feeling a smile tug at the corners of my mouth, I knew that we had succeeded. Preparing myself for battle, I also readied my swords and gear. 

"Luka!" A furious shout brought me out of my thoughts. A man, previously from the squad I abandoned. I felt a lump of guilt form at the back of my throat. 

The man had quite dark hair, accompanied by light eyes that looked ferociously at where I stood. He looked almost venomous. I remained silent, unable to remember the man's name. As he approached me he outstretched his arm, gripping mine tightly and bringing me closer to him. "Where have you been?" He roared, forcing his face in front of mine. 

"I-"I stuttered, unsure of what lie to tell. Finally, I sighed, realizing that the truth would be the best option.

Before I could speak, the man began to drag me away. "We can discuss this later, for now we have to rejoin the squad." I stared at him for a moment, puzzled.

"But- the evacuation is already underway, we should begin our climb over the wall." I spoke uneasily, as we began to use our maneuver gear to return to the scene. The man remained silent. "Hey!" I finally snatched my arm away from his grasp, stopping on the nearest roof to demand answers.

The man stopped to, turning to face me after what seemed like an eternity of silence. I gasped inaudibly. His face was red with anger. "My friends, they died." He whispered roughly, tears making their way down his cheeks. "It's all your fault." He murmured, his eyes squeezed tightly together. "You could've helped them." He finished, his hands curling tightly into fists by the side of him.

I felt my heart shatter. "I'm sorry." I spoke in an equally gentle tone. I placed my hand onto the man's back and stroked it softly. I didn't know how to comfort people.

"Don't touch me!" He roared, stepping backwards like a cornered animal. His eyes looked broken and frightened. Sighing to myself, I put my hands up to surrender, had I really been the one to do this to him? 

"I'll come with you." I spoke, finally making eye contact. It was true, it was my fault. The man looked up, his whole body shaking. "You want revenge for your friends right?" I questioned, trying to keep my composure. "I'll kill the titans, every last one of them."

Making our way to the nearest group of titans, we readied ourselves to engage. Not even knowing the name of my comrade, I allowed my mind to think of my other friends. They had probably all climbed the wall by now. Letting out a sigh of relief, I decided to focus on the task in front of me.

The first titan. Twenty meter class. Disgusting. Nodding to the man to my left, we began to carry out the plan we formed. Firstly, he would immobilize the titan, targeting it's feet and ankles. Then, I would aim for the neck, hopefully killing it.

We sped off. The man's speed was remarkable, something worthy of squad Levi. He efficiently sliced the titan's ankles in a rotating motion. This was my queue. Using my grappling hook to penetrate the titan's upper back, I climbed vertically upwards, readying my swords. Finally, I slashed it's neck, making a deep incision in it's body. It fell to the ground.

Wiping the sweat from my brow, I sighed to myself. One down. "Not bad Hisami." The man next to me said. I nodded in agreement. We worked well together. 

"Ready for the next one?" I questioned, feeling more confident in my abilities. Before he had time to answer, the sound of a canon fire ruptured the silence. 

"I thought the canons were destroyed?" I glanced around the vicinity, seeing if anything was wrong. Blinking, I realized that I still had a promise to keep. "Hey Luka, you should go and check on your friends." A gentle voice came from the side of me.

My eyebrows furrowed as I turned my head to meet the man's gaze. "No, I made a promise." I spoke, my grip on my swords tightening. I then felt a hand on my back. 

"It's okay." The hand gave a reassuring squeeze. "It wasn't your fault, it was mine." Suddenly the man let go of me. "You should go, I'll catch up with you later." I stood hesitantly for a moment, unsure of what to do. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." 

I then realized I was being disrespectful. This man wouldn't be in the Survey Corps if he couldn't protect himself. And with his talent, he still had a fighting chance. 

I turned my back on him and launched my grappling hook into a nearby building. "Hey." I called, looking over my shoulder for a minute, "Don't die."

As I traveled towards the sound of the canon, I regularly glanced at the gas gage of my gear. It was nearly empty. I had to make it there quickly. 

When I approached, the first thing I saw was a crowd of people, gathered around a certain spot. Pushing my way through the dense swarm of people, I realized what they all stared at. The caucus of a titan, and inside; Mikasa, Armin and Eren.

Eren. "Eren!" I screamed, racing past the guards, into the boiling mess that surrounded them. "Eren!" He looked up towards me, like a frightened rabbit caught in a trap.

When I reached him, I embraced him immediately, bringing his body closer to mine. "Eren, you're burning up." I pressed the back of my hand towards his forehead. He blinked a few times, his eyes showing apparent confusion. 

"Luka?" He finally registered, returning my embrace, his arms squeezing me tightly. 

"How are you alive?" I questioned, afraid to let him go. "I saw you die." I felt my body begin to shake as I gripped the material of Eren's shirt tightly. 

His face contorted as if he was remembering something he didn't want to. "I-I'm a titan."


	16. Chapter 15

Year 850

"Eren's a what?" I whispered. Unable to believe the statement I had heard.

"A titan." The man in front of me spoke. Commander Dot Pixis. A high ranking military officer and now the reason why Eren was still alive. I sat down on a nearby crate, massaging my temples with my hand. Eren, Mikasa, Armin and I had all made it to the top of the wall, and were now discussing our options.

"Armin." The Commander addressed the young boy who seemed startled by the whole situation.

"Yes Sir!" He spoke, stiffly saluting the man.

Pixis laughed to himself, placing a hand on the young boys shoulder. "No need for formalities." He stated, making eye contact with the blonde.

At the moment, the situation had caused havoc to spread. The civilians had been safely evacuated, however, titans still poured in through the hole in the wall. Also, the witnesses of Eren's transformation were sure to spread the information, causing panic to spread through the walls. The situation was dire.

"Boy," The Commander addressed Armin. "Did you mean what you said back there?" He questioned. I looked between them confused. I had arrived at the scene after everything had happened. I guess I had missed a lot.

"Some of it." Armin admitted sheepishly. The Commander laughed once again. "In all honesty, I was just trying to protect Eren." Armin said truthfully, avoiding Pixis' gaze.

"A good answer." The Commander replied, his face growing serious all of a sudden. "Now," His voice lowered an octave as he made eye contact with Eren. "I cannot assure you what will happen after this, but-" He paused for a moment, making us all on edge. "I want to use the power you possess."

Mikasa looked over at the Commander with a sour look on her face. He paid no attention to her, carrying on explaining his proposition. "If we can utilize the titan's power, we can recover wall Maria."

My mouth parted slightly. That would be impossible. They would be sending Eren to his death.

"I'll do it." Eren spoke, not hesitating for even a minute.

Everyone called to Eren simultaneously, questioning his stupidity for even considering the offer. "If I can help humanity against the titans, I'll do anything I can. He spoke calmly, looking over at the three of us with soft eyes.

"I'll be fine." He reassured, placing a large hand on my head and ruffling my hair.

"Hey-" I cried, feeling insecure about my height. Eren laughed at me, then turned to face Armin and Mikasa. They both had unconvincing looks plastered on their faces, as if to say they didn't agree with Eren. He only smiled softly at them.

"There's nothing to worry about, you'll be with me." Eren placed one of his hand overs Mikasa's shoulder, and the other over Armin's. I smiled to myself softly, they were like a family, protecting one another no matter what.

I coughed slightly, clearing my throat. "What now?" I asked, wondering how we could possibly pull off this mission. "With the majority of the Survey Corps still on an expedition, we are low on experienced soldiers." I spoke, getting the facts across and questioning the Commander's strategy.

"Good observation-" He paused, asking my name.

"Hisami Sir, Luka Hisami." A look of recognition flashed in his eyes and I internally sighed, dreading being compared to my parents again.

"-Hisami," He continued. "However, I have a plan." The three of us looked up towards the Commander with hopeful eyes.

I suddenly let my mind wander to Levi. How would he react to this when he got home? For once, maybe he'd actually show a surprised expression on that his face of his. I giggled to myself, causing the others to look at me with confused faces. "I'm sorry, please continue."

The Commander coughed, his eyebrows furrowed. "-As I was saying, the plan is quite dangerous for those involved, but only requires a few trained soldiers."

"That's great!" Armin cried, showing his admiration for Pixis. "So what is the plan?" He questioned.

Suddenly, the Commander outstretched his arm, introducing four soldiers to the side of him. The team consisted three men and a woman. "These soldiers will be accompanying you all on your journey towards the wall."

"Wait." Mikasa interrupted, addressing Pixis informally. "How is Eren meant to close the hole?"

"There is a boulder situated inside wall Maria, your mission is to guard Eren from surrounding titans as he carries the boulder to the hole."

Everyone remained silent for a moment, absorbing the Commanders words. How was this possible, there were too many titans to take care of. Unless-

"Of course, there will need to be decoys too." The Commander finished, his plan all falling into place.

Then the realization hit me. This mission was extremely dangerous. There wasn't any safety precautions and if Eren couldn't control his new ability, the whole mission would fail.

Levi. All I could think about was the short, raven haired man. I had to make this mission a success. I had to protect everyone, just as he had told me to. I had to win.

"Okay, what are we waiting for?"

1 Hour Later 

The newly graduated trainees from the Survey Corps would be acting as bait in this mission. However, we were in no better position ourselves.

When the group of trainees distract the titans, our group will travel along the wall towards the hole and the boulder. Then, according the the Commanders plan, Eren will transform into his titan self, leaving us to guard him from surrounding threats.

The plan was simplistically complicated.

"Eren!" I called to him as we ran. My breath came out in short pants as I struggled to keep up with the rest of the group. Continuing with his pace, he looked over his shoulder at me. "Whatever happens-" I paused, wondering whether I should say what I was thinking. "Don't lose your humanity."

As we carried on travelling via the wall, I began to look at the scenery beneath me. The streets seemingly familiar, now looked abandoned and lifeless. To my left I could also see the remains of the outskirts of Shiganshina. Numerous houses had fallen to the dust, undoubtedly crushed by falling rubble and the beasts who roamed the streets below.

I let out a struggled sigh as a wave of nostalgia hit me. I missed the simple life, though I am also somewhat thankful for the breach five years ago. It saved me from my boring life. And without it, I wouldn't have met the people I have today. Armin, Mikasa, Eren, Levi. Levi.

If this mission failed, the last memory I had of him would be of him riding off on horseback, venturing outside the walls.

"Hisami." My name was called, reeling me in back to reality. "Sharpen up, it's time to drop down." One of the men accompanying us shouted. Armin and Mikasa would be staying close to Eren, whilst the other four and I would be scouting a wider perimeter. 

I nodded in agreement, using my grappling hook to maneuver down into the city. To my right I could see the majority of the titans falling for the bait, aimlessly swinging their arms at the dangling soldiers. Although, a few stragglers did remain inside the center of the city.

"Eren, it's time." The female from my group announced. Eren gulped and brought his hand up towards his mouth.

When his teeth sank down into it, a large explosion of yellow lightening filled the sky and a crackling effect was heard. This drew the remaining titan's attention towards us. 

I felt my words trap in my throat. Standing in front of me was Eren, in the form of a fifteen meter class titan. "Luka!" The woman from my group called. "This way." She gestured towards the three ten meter class titans approaching from the left. I nodded, targeting the furthest back, leaving the closest two to them.

My objective now was to eliminate the surrounding threats. I needed to focus. 

No matter how many times I encountered a titan, I could never get accustomed to the grotesque look on their faces. Finally approaching it, I allowed myself to become fully immersed in combat, blocking out any distractions Eren might cause.

The titan followed my movements perfectly with it's gaze. For a titan, this one seemed slightly intelligent. I couldn't afford any mistakes.

Attaching my grappling hook into its arm, I darted towards it, finding my footing on the body. Then using my body weight, I shifted my center of gravity to the side, causing my body to rotate. This was my chance, there was a perfect opening towards the nape of the neck. Taking the opportunity, I sliced deeply into its flesh, removing a chunk from its neck. Success.

Turning around, I checked on how Eren's squad were doing. My eyes widened. Eren's titan form was out of control, aimlessly swatting at Armin and Mikasa. Almost instantly, a red flare ascended into the sky, symbolizing only one thing. Mission Failure.

"Eren!" I readied myself to approach him.

A voice suddenly broke the silence."Hisami!" A member of my squad shouted. "Carry on with your mission, you have faith in him don't you."

I felt a lump rise in my throat. It was over now, impossible to succeed now. How could I simply carry on? Eren's titan form cried out, creating a shrill noise throughout the air. I guess there was nothing left to do but carry on.

All of a sudden I realized that the surrounding titans were no longer focused on us. They were headed towards Eren. I fired my grappling hook immediately, immobilizing the nearest titan by slashing its ankles. As it fell to the ground harshly, I took the moment to cut its neck, killing it. 

I continued for a while. Four titans dead. Taking a look around me, I noticed that my squads numbers had began to decrease. It was inevitable. However, such a waste of human life.

"Eren!" I heard a desperate call break the silence, accompanied shortly after by loud steps. Eren was succeeding. He was carrying the boulder.

His titan form had hoisted the boulder up onto its shoulders, its back and neck arching slightly from the tremendous weight. "Go on Eren!" I yelled, also showing my encouragement.

Unfortunately, the nearby titans had also spotted Eren's efforts, making their way to where he was. 

"Dammit." I cursed under my breath, my knuckles turning white on the hilts of my swords. I had already dulled my blades twice already, and couldn't afford any more mistakes. Signalling a survivor of my squad, I targeted the first of two approaching titans, attaching myself to its back. Once again I killed the beast, as if it had become a usual routine. I no longer quivered and shook due to the presence of a titan. I embraced it.

Finally, Eren had reached the hole in the wall, preparing himself for releasing the boulder. There was one last titan left in my view. I had to take it out.

Once again sending out my grappling hook, I pulled the handles of my gear, sending me towards the titan. Then suddenly, I felt myself descending. Plummeting through the air to the ground below. My eyes flickered to the gage on my gas cylinder. Empty.

There was nothing I could do other than brace myself for impact, praying that I'd survive the fall. It wasn't from a great height, but the surrounding titans made travel by foot seem suicidal. Suddenly, the loud crash that echoed through the air ensured me the Eren had completed his mission. The others could take it from here. 

Finally coming into contact with the ground, my shoulder was first to hit, sending immense pain throughout my body. A string of curse words left my mouth as I shakily found my footing, clutching onto my shoulder with my free arm. I had to make it back to Eren.

Turning the corner of a familiar building, Eren's squad were finally in sight. Every step I took sent a painful jolt throughout my body, moving my shoulder out of my grasp. I gritted my teeth and continued to run. This wasn't good. Eren had emerged out of the titan's caucus, hot to the touch, and was being pried out by Armin and Mikasa. However, numerous titans began to surround them, approaching closer by the minute. 

"Armin, Mikasa!" I called, running up to them from behind a nearby building. "Hurry up and get Eren out of here!" I yelled roughly, panic starting to overcome me. If they didn't leave soon, there would be no chance to escape.

"It's Eren." Mikasa shouted, "He's fused with the titan." She continued to struggle, trying to remove Eren from the caucus.

"We'll have to cut him out." I screamed, over the ominous footsteps of the surrounding titans. Grabbing the hilt of my sword with my uninjured arm, I made my way over to the unconscious boy. 

"No!" Armin stood in front of me, his arms outstretched in a protective manner. Suddenly, Mikasa yanked Eren's arms harshly, finally freeing him from his titan imprisonment. I sighed in relief, glad I wouldn't have to hurt him.

Another footstep then shattered the silence, causing me to remember. Titans. Four stood in front of us. All an average of ten meter class, they towered above us. None of us moved. The back up squad had been wiped out and there were no nearby buildings for us to maneuver. I had also run out of gas. This was it, we were going to die.

My breath caught in my throat as I suddenly saw the titans simultaneously fall to the ground, the napes of their necks removed. Then, from the dense steam rising from the caucuses, came the silhouette of a man. I felt my heart almost stop when I realized who it was.

Mikasa and Armin looked up, still embracing the unconscious Eren protectively in their arms. "L-Levi." I felt my eyes begin to swell up with tears, making me blubber like an infant. It was as if my suppressed emotions from the whole day had been let out at once, needing to be released. Clambering to my feet, I raced over to the short man, ignoring the searing pain in my right shoulder.

I clamped my arms tightly around his torso, burying my face into the crook of his neck and soaking it with tears. I didn't care. I didn't care about the judgmental stares, I didn't care about my shoulder, nor my tear stained cheeks. In this moment, I only cared about him.

"Hey," He spoke softly, treating me as if I were a fragile doll he were afraid of shattering. "What happened?" He questioned, pulling me closer to him and trying to calm me down.

"I-, we-, titans-, Eren." I fumbled, unable to make sense of my thoughts and form them into words. He remained silent, bringing his hand up to stroke my hair comfortingly. 

"Hey brats," He addressed Mikasa and Armin, still holding me in his embrace. "What's the situation here." He questioned bluntly. He began to approach the group, inspecting the scene for any possible answers. I didn't know how he would react to this.

I felt Levi loosen his hold on my waist, releasing me from his grasp and leaving me feeling exposed. I didn't realize I'd become so reliant on him, though when I felt my fingers innocently wrap around his wrist, I knew. I didn't want to leave him.


	17. Chapter 16

Year 850 

The next series of events seemed to swirl and pass by me in an instant. Hours seemed to conjoin, rolling into one another. Yet, minutes could seem like days, dragging on for what felt like an eternity.

Each of the walls seemed to be in turmoil over the recent battle and discovery of Eren. Every military faction scrambled to present an argument regarding the newly found titan shifter, and the locals started talking, spreading gossip among one another. To describe the current situation; dire.

Moreover, the mission had left me with an injury. What I had first thought to be a minor shoulder injury, had turned out to be a broken collarbone, leaving me useless for some weeks. It was as if everything building up to now had broken too, leaving only time to the fix wounds.

"Levi." I spoke sternly, trying to attract the attention of the older man.

"I've told you-" He replied almost instantly, continuing his voyage down the hall. "No."

During the passing days after the battle of Trost, Eren Jaeger was immediately captured and taken into the custody of the Survey Corps. Now, detained in a unknown place, I was being denied access to see him.

"Eren isn't a threat." I voiced calmly, maintaining my composure. I wasn't sure of my relationship with Levi at the moment. Even though I relied on him so hopelessly through the years, recently, I've been more concerned with other things.

Suddenly, Levi stopped his walk, spinning on his heels to make direct eye contact with me. 

"Luka." He started, his voice neither gentle nor cold. He then placed a warm hand gently on my shoulder, trying not to disrupt my collarbone. "We don't know anything about Eren Jaeger at the moment." The man spoke quietly, for others not to overhear. 

He then leaned his face closer to mine, supporting his weight with his arm against a wall and shifting his legs to an even stance. "And whatever you think you know about him-" He paused for a moment, lowering his voice. "Could be a lie."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Such ugly words coming from the mouth of someone so beautiful. It was a large contradiction. 

"Levi." I whispered back, my tone equally soft and hushed. "Eren is my friend, and I will see him."

Sliding my back down on the wall, I cautiously ducked beneath his arm, freeing myself from his grasp. Then, turning my back on him, I walked straight down the hallway, readjusting my sling to a more comfortable position. I needed to speak with Erwin.

1 Hour Later 

After being denied once again, I decided the confinement Eren had been placed under, was far more serious than I anticipated. After Erwin deemed that I wasn't fit to see Eren, the argument began. He was a superior and I respected that. However, Eren was a dear friend to me, one that I wanted to protect.

'It's those very emotional attachments that will cloud your judgement."

Erwin's words rang through my head like a painful reminder of how incapable I was. Letting out a low groan of frustration I kicked the nearest wall to me, sending a jolt up my body. I hissed in pain, clutching my collar with my uninjured arm. Why was it always me?

"No use in hurting yourself even more." A warm breath whispered onto the back of my neck, making my voice catch in my throat.

"Go away Levi." I growled out of frustration. My body was bruised and battered, Eren sat in the midst of possible torture, and I was left feeling useless.

Letting out a sigh, I brought my hand up to my forehead, trying to cool it down and regain control. "I didn't mean that." I spoke finally, feeling guilty of my sudden outburst. 

The man's face watched me completely, focusing on my expressions to determine the truth. "Listen-" He spoke roughly, rubbing his temples with his fingers. "We have a plan to get Eren for ourselves." He stated, studying my reactions. "I can't tell you anymore at the moment, but there'll be a hearing later on today." He stopped, looking down the hall to where Erwin's office was. "You have to come."

I nodded quickly, spending a few seconds to process what Levi had told me. "Okay." I agreed finally, grateful for even the slightest piece of information he could offer. Just as the man turned to leave, his body now facing opposite mine, I outstretched my uninjured arm.

"Levi." My eyes trailed along his face, looking for an ounce of emotion. "I'm sorry." I sighed, letting my arm fall back against my body. "I'm sorry about earlier and I'm sorry about now." I could feel my face heat up, from embarrassment or stress, I didn't know. "I knew that you were just trying to help, but I can't help but feel-" The words hitched in my throat. 'Scared.' I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't help but keep my guard up, considering the distance that had grown between us these last few days.

Levi clicked his tongue, breaking the silence and relieving me of my awkwardness. "It's fine brat." He stated lightly, dismissing the situation. "Go back to your room, I'll be there to get you later." Nodding I watched him walk away, contemplating whether I should've shown him some affection. After all, he was just rather caring.

As I made my way through the building, it occurred to me just how dysfunctional our relationship was. He hadn't declared us an official couple, but he couldn't deny that there were feelings for each other either. I felt a slight feeling of disappointment, realizing that the man could be a mystery when he wanted to be. Almost as if he were a puzzle missing a few pieces. 

Turning the corner closest to my room, I began to wonder how Eren's hearing would be decided. If the military police won his custody, there'd be no doubt that they would kill him. The Garrison probably wouldn't be any better. Then I began to realize how vital we were to Eren's survival. Not only was the Survey Corps the only military faction willing to keep Eren alive, but we were the only group who thought of utilizing Eren's ability to aid humanity. It was all or nothing. Eren had to bet his all on the Survey Corps.

Before my hand could reach out towards the door handle. I heard footsteps hastily louden behind me. "Levi?" I questioned, eyebrows furrowed. Had it really taken me so long to reach my room? 

"The hearing's been moved up." He declared shortly, reaching out and taking my hand. I didn't have time to react before I was pulled along by the stronger man, being lead towards an unknown destination.

After we arrive, my anticipation began to rise. We were about to enter the court room, separately, of course. Levi would put forward the Survey Corps' case against the other two regiments and I would have to testify as a witness to the battle of Trost. It all seemed so simple in theory. It was almost laughable.

I felt my hands get clammy as we waited outside the hall. Levi tapped his fingers over his thigh and leaned his body against the wall. "Luka." He suddenly addressed me, causing me to look his way.

"I'm warning you." He started, letting me know the seriousness of the situation. "What goes on in there will all be an act." I stared back at the man, furrowing my eyebrows. What did he mean? All an act.

Before I had time to question his choice of words, we were called in to be seated, making my anxiety rise. 

The court room was a large building, finely furnished for a room in our current location, yet still nothing compared to Shina. Not to mention that the room was full of people. Captains, Commanders, witnesses, judges. And they all seemed to have something in common. I could tell from their eyes that they all wanted to dissect Eren.

As we all made our way to the stands, the talking began to die down. First, to a whisper. Then, to silence. 

"Will the offender, by name Eren Jaeger, please be brought in." The judge spoke loudly and in a clear tone, his voice ricocheting off all four walls. Suddenly, the two heavy doors of the room were flung open, leading a young boy in by his shackles. 'Eren.' I wanted to scream out, not caring of the consequences. However, I refrained myself, not wanting to jeopardize Eren's chances.

Once Eren had been lead into the room, his chains were then attached to a pole in the middle of the room, placed there with the purpose of detaining him. He looked frailer than when I'd last seen him, his shirt hung loosely on his frame and there were bags under his eyes. It made me feel sick.

As the hearing began, various members of the other regiments began to put their arguments forward. Both the Military Police and the Garrison had dire plans for Eren, though it was as expected. The Military Police however, took it to another level.

"We should dissect him!" The proposer yelled, against the mixture of other voices. The court room had been transformed into full scale fight within a matter of minutes. Insults were being thrown back and forth by opinionated people, whilst others simply agreed or disagreed.

When the atmosphere finally settled, witnesses were asked to give statements. Firstly was Mikasa, who described in detail the battle's events. 

"He's a monster!" One person reacted, when Mikasa had told the story. Once again, the voices began to increase, echoing off the walls of the spacious hall.

"Next witness please-" The judge paused, eyeing the sheet of information in front of him. "Luka Hisami." I felt my palms begin to sweat again as I felt all eyes on me. The room seemed to quieten almost instantly. Whether it was because of my last name or the fact that I was another witness. Either way, it was intimidating.

"Yes Sir." I coughed, projecting my voice in attempt to sound confident. I stole a glance at Levi and Erwin, who only nodded back at me in response. I then also began to account the series of events, truthfully and honestly, though portraying Eren as positive too.

Just as I had finished, the courtroom erupted. "How can we trust them?" One member of the Garrison accused, pointing over to Mikasa and then at me. Then finally, silence prevailed.

"We should dissect them too!" 

In the corner of my eye, I saw Levi begin the fidget, his anger becoming apparent. His face then contorted as he stared down the man who'd shouted. I felt like life was in slow motion. Levi had just shown the first ounce of emotion to me since the battle of Trost. Not only did he show his concern for me, but his eyes also showed that he wanted to rip the guy's throat out.

Suddenly, the room was filled with a voice of determination, immediately cancelling everyone out with it's sheer power and will. Eren. He spoke confidently and clearly, shocking the room and urging the regiments to reconsider. He yelled and swore, defiantly trying to get his point across. The whole room stood captivated.

"Please." He finished, his voice settling into a gentle finish. "Just put your faith in me!" He then yelled, once again filling the court with only the sound of his voice and his voice alone. No one moved, not sure of how to react or what to do. However, one person made his way up to Eren almost silently. Levi.

I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I realized that something wasn't right. Immediately, Levi's words began to ring throughout my mind. 'It's all an act.' I looked over to them, too intrigued to pry my eyes away from the inevitable scene. 

Within an instant, Levi foot collided with Eren's face. Hard. I winced and turned my head away from the continuous beating. Mikasa had to be physically restrained by Armin, as she watched in a furious state. I had to admit it, nothing was worse than seeing a person, almost like your brother, get beaten by your- I mentally paused, deciding on what to label Levi as. Boyfriend was incorrect at this stage, but so was the word 'friend'. I internally argued with myself, to distract from the scene in front of me.

After what felt like a lifetime of bruises, the Survey Corps had won custody over Eren, under a few conditions of course. However, his chances of surviving under the Survey Corps were guaranteed to be higher than in the other regiments. I sighed deeply with relief. At least he was safe for now.

As we began to file out of the room and see to Eren's wounds, something in the opposite corner of the room caught my eye. It surprised me at first, since with poor eyesight to begin with, I shouldn't be able to pick out a single person within a crowded room.

I stopped in my tracks, my vision blurring ever so slightly. With total disregard for my arm, I slumped back onto the nearest wall to regain my balance. The man across the room. He was tall with short mousy brown hair and harsh green eyes. He faced opposite me, though slowly turned around to meet his gaze to mine. It was someone I'd thought had died a long time ago. Someone I'd lost communication with over five years ago. It was my uncle.

Stumbling out of the room like a newborn fowl, I clambered to the room where I was told to meet Levi. I knew that I couldn't let them know, though it was hard to hold back the rush of feelings that were flooding my mind. I felt like I wanted to cry and punch the nearest wall at the same time. My hand started to shake, along with my unsteady legs.

"Luka!" Suddenly, the man who I dreaded facing came bounding over towards me, his face somewhat different than what I remembered. His hair seemed a little shorter than before, and his facial features had noticeably aged. He gained slightly more wrinkles and bags beneath his eyes too. Though, he still was recognizable as my uncle.

"Luka!" He called again, closing the distance in between us. Panic overcoming me, I opened the door I was leaning on for support, cutting him off from me. However, the other side of the door wasn't anymore pleasant. 

As soon as I entered the room, I was greeted by empty stares, letting their curiosity get the best of them. Eren looked over at me worriedly, in the midst of being tended to by Hanji. Levi, however, only sighed before making his way over to me.

Suddenly, hard pounds were heard on the wood of the door, accompanied by the continuous cries of my name. Levi raised an eyebrow to me as I felt my heart beat heavily within my chest. Deep down I knew this situation couldn't be avoided, though some part of me hoped it could.

Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself for Levi to open the door, his slender hands wrapping around the handle. It wasn't that I thought of my uncle negatively, quite the opposite, I just didn't know how to react to a supposed 'dead' relative making a sudden appearance.

When the door was open, Levi looked the man up and down with a cold expression, pulling me close to his side instinctively. I forced back a smile.

Within the dead, empty seconds where Levi stared my uncle down, I couldn't help but feel anxious. My face began to heat up and I felt perspiration start to run down my forehead. How was I supposed to deal with this?

Then, as the tension in the atmosphere began to fade, the dreaded question that was on everyone's lips, was asked.

"Who the hell is this?"

**Author's Note:**

> Also on Wattpad and Quotev  
> Wattpad - pandorahurts  
> Quotev - BooBearxx
> 
> Chapters 1-16 posted 31/07/15


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